A Slap To The Face [04/21/08]

This is the first time I'm really using this. No I’m not going to post my angst-filled horrible life. I don’t have one. it actually pretty sweet. but i just finished reading something that really upset me =/,

i like to make stories up about people that I’m familiar with. To me, its pretty hard to make up a guy because I’m not one. In my stories, or fan-fictions, I'm usually in the girl's shoes or in 3rd person to just explain how everyone in that situation feels. I’m kind of good at explaining a guy's feelings. I'm learning but i feel like my romance fan-fictions are just stupid and silly immature and nobody ever reads them. i see that other people get like a gazillion hit and comments. I’m at a lost =(. i want that and i know it takes time. I've been in this website publish gig for a good 3 years. Some other people have more, but i see new users get 50 hits within a few hours of post a new story.

Maybe I do over use clichés. Maybe I should grow up and face the world and be real about it. I should be able to make mistakes and be told how to correct it, not be scolded and made to seem like the brainless immature girl that still believes in love. what else do you people want? You want to read about death, murders, bad things that people do? Read the fucking paper. I tried to once write a murder story, i couldn't. Maybe is just me but death is not the most pleasant thing ever. I’m very introverted, i may say but I just can't make my imagination fathom these sort of things that someone would imply to another person.

I'm seventeen and still I live in a little world were love is eternal and pace is the cure for everything. That’s fueled only by the fact that I’m in love with the most wonderful human being on this planet earth. I like to make believe that the people in my stories are as in love as I am this very instant. I like to make believe that the best band that saved my life is involved in some way. Maybe i should vary and use them moderatedly. I like the make my stories have substance, along with a bit of me in it. A lot of my stories contain bits and pieces of myself that i could never just come out and say. I like to foreshadow. i like vampires and the fact that they suck blood is sexy to me.

Yes, i make believe that I’m a vampire and my boyfriend plays along with me, saying that he's the mythical werewolf in shinning armor that I’ve always wanted. I have an imagination and i love to use it and make my world bright when everything seems grim. I love to make people laugh at senseless thing and sometimes even at myself. if that’s so bad, then I don’t want to fucking right.

--jenny out.