In over my head.

weird, Being like here hey? I mean like on earth.
I was sitting on my porch the other night, smoking some cigarette's and drinking some Jack Daniels and i was like WOAH! I'm a person, and I'm real. I have a life, that i'm already 19 years into... and what have i done? fucked it up!
Than i went on to thinking about the univese and religion, I mean the churchys say "God made the earth" Right, so then who the fuck made the universe, and what evers beyond that. Then i was like WHAT THE FUCK IS BEYOND THAT! I want to know, I want to know the meaning of life, and what we are here for, is there something out there in the univese like us, I find it hard to belive that we are alone.
And then i started thinking about scary shit like what if there are like Yowies outh there, for real? My brother swear he was one and my friend zoe said the other day that she swore she saw a drop bear.....
Its fucked up shit.
There are so many questions and no one to answer them.

Religon can't answer it!
Science cant either!
So what the fuck do we do?
Do we hang around and wait for our bodys to stop fuctioning and begin rotting? Is that the meaning of life? to die?

I hate having all this bullshit in my head!

Why can't i be a normal 19 year old girl who doesn't lie awake at night thinking about this shit?

God fucking damn it!