I'm Fine...?

Those two words could be the most used words in my life.
Although, every time i say it. I never mean it.
This seems so cleche to write about my petty little problems but it's my journal.
This year has been so crappy for me so far.
I rarely talk to my family and when i do shouting and arguing is usually involved.
Most of my school friends are backstabbing, mean people. Who I'm starting to see who they truly are yet I still hang around with them because I hav no where else to go. And I feel like I'm turning into one of them. Not all of them are bad.
My love life is totally a mess. I broke up with someone in March and at first I thought it was a mistake, then made the mistake of asking some of my friends for advise. But even now I think I'm over it and think I might have feelings for someone else. Because me and my ex are still friends I'm not even allowed to do something like save her a seat without having accusations and taunting thrown at me by my so called friends.
A friend died in March too and I feel like I'm still holding on to that. Even though most of the people that knew him are over it. I didn't really have a chance to grieve. Because I just pretended to be happy at home because I couldn't talk to my parents about it and at school because I didn't trust anyone. And my cat is sick and could die soon which is putting things in perspective for me and bringing up old feelings that I tried to lock away in the back of my mind.
The friends I do trust are mainly internet friends and I feel like I'm a burden to them. Because I am always talking about myself and and I always need their help.
I have zero self confidence because of facial features and my English accent. I'm in a society where people pride themselves on being open minded yet won't accept anyone that looks slightly different.
And finally religion. In theory I'm a Christian. But as all this stuff has gone wrong I've just slipped away. Which makes me feel even worse. I rarely attend church and I curse and swear and sin freaquently.
And that's it. I apologise for boring you. Comments welcome.