Ben </3

Well basically, this journal is me writing a leter to a really close friend of mine who is in a coma. I know he can't ead this and all that.... But it means something to me to do this. So I am.

Hey Ben, Laurenn here. I know you might never even read this... But I want you to know how much I care about you. I hate them assholes called chavs that done this to you! You don't deserve this. It's the thrid time in two months you've been beaten up by the same people! I can't stop crying. I hate myself because the last thing I said to you was 'I hate you. FUCK OFF!'. I wish it was something like, 'I love you', then I wouldn't feel as bad about this. I can't bear to think think that your baby blue eyes might never sparkle when your hyper and exctied again, that you arms might not ever hold me safe and confort me again, that your lips might never utter a single word again, that the left side of your bottom lip might never get pierced, that I might have to go and get that oh-so-special tattoo on my hand without you. Everything I think of, everything I look at, everything reminds me of you. No matter what arguements we have, no matter what horrible things we say, you are my life and I don't know what I would do without you. You are so special. You were my first love. You'll always have my heart and no matter where you are, you know that. Umm, I don't know what to say anymore. I have so many things to say, but I want to say them to you, not for you. I can't stop crying and thinking about you babe. I even made a group on Bebo. You are everything to me Ben. I hope with my own life that you get through this. Even Sam is there with you. SAM. Ben, SAM. Please Ben, please wake up. I'm crying just writing this. And, I need you to know this, I am coming down to see you baby. I LOVE YOU. And I did, I do, I always will. I promise. OreoSugar, you are my everything. I miss you and you're not even gone. I miss you everyday. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to know that you'll be okay. Sam phones me everyday now. Keeping me updated until I can get down there to see you. ILYILYILYILYILYILY. Please wake up! I miss you already.
You have my love, forever, always, no matter what...
Your SourBaby, Lau xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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