straight

my hair is so fucking straight right now. Why is it never like tis for school? I mean, is it really so hard? There was a fly in this room before, that only the incredible over sized hoodie could fend off; no fly could find me lost in its lint covered folds. I almost got and A on my English assignment. It went through cross marking, the A had a line through it and I now have a B. Something about not putting apostrophes in the rigt places. Fuck apostrophes I say. Apostrophes are atrocities. Your face is. It's not even late and I'm not even drunk, and I'm not upset but I'm disappointed in myself because I always assume things. I assume I know what people are like and how they think. I assume the plain girl with the bad hair and bad makeup taken with what can only be a camera phone is pathetic and a whiner. I loved a boy because he was strange, but I think he's gone mad and it worries me. Not only because to love someone whose mad must mean i am at least slightly mad, but because some of the most influential people were mad. I see his influence and it scares me, The way Hitler scares. It doesn't even deserve that capitalization. I remember seeing a documentary on Pol Pot years ago and being shocked I'd never heard of it. I was only 11 but I knew about the holocaust and I try not to be ignorant - how had I not heard about this? I don't remember much...something about the slaughter of 3 million people. Thats it. And I've never heard it mentioned since. The Boer war. Never heard of it until I read 'The Power Of One' in english. Yet I've heard the story of Simpson and his ass a thousand times in primary school. Our anzacs were killers to, but their side won, so its ok. This is turning into a journal about war, it was meant to be about teenage fuckups, sorry. War is boring. No one wants to know unless the numbers are interesting.