Online Chatter Perhaps.

Once again, I will attempt to answer a question that has been recently asked. In case you don't understand my opening phrase, "Once again", then go back and start reading my journals from the beginning, and then you'll know exactly the business I'm in. Some might not agree with the answer I give, but that's alright. So here goes...

Question: I am a shy person, so I feel more confortable talking with a guy using online messenging. How do I get a guy's full attention? Is it possible to actually find out if he likes me, without asking him driectly? Any advice would be great.

My Answer: I think MOST people feel more confortable talking to a guy using online messenging these days. I find it fun myself to chat with a guy online. It gives you the opportunity to think, before you say something. You have to opportunity to re-read what you're about to say. And if you don't like it, you can delete it, and start all over. Not like if you're talking with him in person, when you have to "think on the fly." And believe it or not, MOST guys are more open with online messenging aswell. Its a great way of guaging a guy's interest in you. However, its almost impossible to actually find out if the guy likes you, without actually asking him if he does. And aking him directly, might scare him. Thus, ending the online conversation. DO NOT do this. The key is to get his attention in the conversation with you, AND KEEP IT!

Lets begin with, getting his attention. Most guys will almost never start a conversation. You will have to do this yourself. So here's how to do this. This will also let you know, if he;s willing to give you his FULL ATTENTION. As soon as you sign on, or as soon as he signs on to messenger, say exactly this....

"Hey! What are you doing? Are you too busy for a chat with me?"

What you're doing, is asking him whether or not he is busy. Whether or not he is willing to give you his full attention. If he is doing something that is keeping his attention, HE WILL TELL YOU. If that's the case, then you'll be better off trying again later. But if he gives you an answer like, "Nothing", then his attention is up for grabs. SO TAKE IT!! I know, you;re asking yourself now, "Well now that I can get his full attention, now what do I do?" Well, that's just as simple.

By using the opener I gave you... It also tells HIM, in a subtle way, that YOU want HIS attention. And that YOU are interested in HIM. Almost most guys will pick up on this, and will carry the conversation from this point. All you have to do, is lay back and enjoy the ride.

See!! Simple!! Isn't it?

In case this guy, is truly dumb founded, and can't pick up on any subtle attempt by you, then you'll have to get things off the ground. And it's just as simple. Simply ask everyday questions. Something like, "So, how was your day today?" or, "Thinking anything interesting?" Believe it or not, but most men like it when a girl shows interest in his life. And if he has any interest in you, he will open up and begin to carry the conversation from this point. Some men just need to be nudged to get going.

Don't forget to flirt while chatting. An example....

Him: "I think maybe I should get a haircut."

Me: "Yes you should. I can't have you looking shaggy while you're with me."

There, you see. What I did there, was tease him. Which is a big part of flirting. I also, subtly, told him that I'm planning on being with him in person at some point.

I must add, while chatting with the guy, YOU MUST GIVE HIM YOUR FULL ATTENTION ASWELL!! Because when you chat with more then a single person at one time, you tend to start giving the dreaded, "one word sentence". Which, in turn, will cause the guy to get bored. Thus, ending the conversation. No guy finds boredom attracting. So if you expect his full attention, you must give him your full attention. Form COMPLETE sentences, and you'll be fine. My rule of thumb while chatting to get full attention, is to form two different meanings in what I say. You can find an example, once again, from the above example, about the haircut.

Another thing to remember, is... GET HIM TO THINK ABOUT YOU AND THE CONVERSATION! A way of doing this, is to flirt, but NOT be apologetic. Now go back up, to the haircut example I gave. Notice, after I "teased" him, I DID NOT APOLOGIZE! Flirting and apologizing for it, doesn't get you anywhere.

So just have fun while chatting on an online messenger with a guy. I know I've spent hours just chatting with a guy. ANd if it gets to the point, where you're thinking that he just may be interested in spending time with you in person, or if you want to guage whether or not he'd like to ask you out, you can do this in a subtle way too. GO TO MY LAST JOURNAL POST, READ TO WHERE I TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY TO GET HIM TO ASK YOU OUT, AND SIMPLY USE ONE OF THOSE IN YOUR MESSENGER CONVERSATION. Or, you can simply suggest to him, that maybe you two should hang out sometime. If that's the case, you can say...

"So maybe we should hang out sometime. You know, so I can see if you're this boring in person aswell." (don't worry, he'll know that you're just busting his balls and flirting)

"We should definitely get together soon, so I can actually hit you when you're bad."

And BOOM!!! If he truly is interested in you at all, you'll have yourself a meeting. Then you can use the reading the body language test, so you can truly find out whether or not he is really attracted to you.

Ok, I'm sorry if that doesn't answer the question fully. But I think I did shed a little more light on the situation. But sometimes I think, only you can decide what works best for you. Your method just might work better then my method on a certain guy. I only go by what I've learned over the years. Or, maybe my previous journals will shed a little more light on guys. You might learn exactly what you want to know from them aswell. Alright, thats good enough for this journal.

Have a good one all!!

xD