angsty and pissed off

Sometimes I feel as though i am the unwanted child. Sure my mom acts like i'm the best thing since sliced bread, but that's only when she needs me to do something for her, or when i have done something for her. Any other time, she just clings on to my older sister and they gang up on me like i'm not part of the family.

And now I have just been having the worst YEAR of my life. it all started when my grandmom kicked me, my mom, and my sister out of her house. We had to stay with my aunt, her three kids, her husband, and her mother in law. for nearly six months my room was a living room and my bed was a plastic covered couch. I was feeling depressed, so i started takng painkillers and nearly ODed on the trolley in front of my boyfriend. He tried to make me go to the hospital, but i refused. so he just hept a real close watch on me. Fortunately, i was able to kick the habit. Then I was finally able to move out, me, my mom and my sister finally got our own place. But the ridicule from my mom and sister got worse. they made me fel as though I wasn't a part of the family, because i listen to rock, and I wear clothes different from them, and I talk just a little too polite for them.

So now I'm sitting here at my laptop feelng mad at the world. My sister invited my cousin to spend the night in our room, without my permission. I was supossed to go to a party but i can;t go nowbecause my sister has to work and someone has to be here with my cousin. Guess who that's going to be? She's sleeping in my bed so I have to either sleep on the floor or in my mom's room. My mom let my sister's boyfriend move into our already cramped two bedroom apartment. She sleeps in the bed with her every night and don't know how to shut the fuck up so I can go to bed. And my mom's boyfriend is stalking her so now I can't leave the house because he may be waiting for us outside. I miss out on so much because my mom is paranoid about everything i do. So I'm basically a little hermit in my room with my laptop whining like a little girl. Man i hate being all angsty and pissed off.

my boyfriend keeps trying to get me to move in with him, but i don't know if it;s the right thing to do. i mean, i'm only 17. Will i really be able to take care of myself? and do you honestly think my mom's going to let me do that? she'll kill me before she'll let me go. UGH!!! ANGST!!!