crap chair

i hate my crap chair. i hate it. but i must sit in it until i am 18, when the law stops pushing me into it with a stick. i can't tell anyone it's crap, because either they wont listen or they will put me in a different chair. different, but no less crap.

i am in danger of falling on the floor, too. if the crap chair doesnt break then i will. i am scared. i am so so scared. what is wrong with me? is it my fault i have a crap chair? i dont even know.

ryan, you're amazing but i can't talk to you. i havn't told my closest friends, what makes you different? thankyou for caring, but i wish i hadn't said anything.

i want to go to the doctors and tell them everything.
but i cant.
im scared
and i dont know what to do.

i need somebody who i dont know
i need to talk to somebody who wont judge me
i need someone to love.

help me.