My Coming Out Story Part 1

So this isn't really a journal, I just thought that I would give you a look at how I felt at around the time that I came out to my parents and all of my friends. I remember all of my feelings very vividly so, I hope I can give you a very clear picture.

I guess it all started around the end of my freshman year in high school. I was finally part of something that I enjoyed and made forget about everything else in the world, this was marching band. Music had always filled my life with lots of joy and comfort, but this was taking it to a whole other level. It was me actually making the music and working hard to become better at it.

It was the end of my freshman year when I started to realize how important marching band was to me. Every time I was away from marching band or something that pertained to it, I was almost severely depressed and that when I first realized it. I guess it was because I would have so much fun making music that I would forget how enormously depressed I was living this huge lie, well not exactly a lie, just something that I was keeping from everyone, something that had to do with me and my life.

I always felt alone and distant, even when I was with my marching band friends, maybe a little less there, but the feeling was still there. I never wanted to do any school work, the only work I wanted to do had to do with music. Even if it was listening to a CD of one of my favorite bands like A Perfect Circle or something. The feeling that APC gave was like no other. It would calm me down and I would get lost in Maynard's world of lyrics. It was a feeling like no other.

Then there was the feeling I had when I was making the music with the marching band. When I was playing the drums, nothing else mattered. I had to play the write notes on the right drums (Tenor Drum or Quad Player, that's what I am), and I would just concentrate on that and as I got better and better, the feeling when I was in front of the whole school or on live television just got more and more euphoric. It was absolutely amazing.

But the better I got at the drums, the less time I needed to spend on them. So that meant that the subject of my homosexuality was brought to the forefront of my thoughts a lot more often. I can still remember the first person of whom I told I was gay, she was one of my best friends at the time her name was Jasmine (for anonymity reasons I won't say her last name). She was a lesbian so she was so happy, but maybe that was why it was a lot easier to tell her, because she's a lesbian. Anyways, then I went on to tell my other best friends, I only had two more.

The second person I told was Edward. Me telling him was kind of funny. When I told him, he told me that he knew already. He said that I was hanging out with him and another guy at lunch one day and I left to go get a soda, and when I left, they saw me checking out this guy's ass. I always thought that that was kind of funny. There there was my best best friend. His name is Tomas. Me and him were like two peas in a pod, no homo, ha except for me. Anyways, I asked him if he wanted to join my family on a family trip, there is where I told him. I didn't expect to tell him there, it just kind of happened. Oh and I didn't tell you that me and him became best friends in the seventh Grade on like the first day of school, we are that close, but we ended up going to different high schools but still kept in touch every once and a while.

Anyway, back to my sophomore year in high school, family trip with my best friend. I told him and he is the one who encouraged me to tell my parents, so I did, but that isn't a very interesting story. Most people have these very dramatic coming out to their parents stories but I don't all they did was say "Okay" and that was pretty much it. Anyway I just remember that before I told Jasmine, I felt like my head was going to explode if I didn't tell anyone.

So, that's it, wait oh, I didn't mention that my friend Edward was in the Marching Band also, and he asked me if he could tell this one guy, I guess they were pretty good friends, anyway I said sure why not and it was funny cause, two hours into telling him that he could tell that guy, all kinds of people from the band were coming to me like are you gay and so on and so on, anyway, that's my coming out story part 1. I'll let you know how coming out to the rest of my family goes in my coming out story part 2. should be posted around the beginning of September.