pathetic.

I know i probably sound like another emo kid but i really don't think i am.
But I'm just so sick of every pathetic aspect of my life. My dad is an alcoholic asswhole who my mother wont leave even after she had to wrestle a gun away from him because he was drunk and wanted to hurt us, or who in the same night said i should shoot my self or in his words "go put a bullet in my brain and do us all a favor." or how no one in my family listens to me, it's like they don't care. I'm always alone and when somebody is home they're usually yelling at me about something and i just can't take it anymore. I'm tired of being compared to my saint of a brother and how pathetic i am unlike him. or how about that everything i say isn't true and is all in my imagination or I'm just doing it to get attention. i feel like i literally have no one who cares, and no one i can turn to because no matter what i do i'm just "trying to get attention" or "making something worse then it is." but if that were true would i really be posting all my feelings on a website where i don't know anyone and it really wont effect them? I honestly don't know why i bother anymore if people think so little of me.