What I Really Have

Just two days ago, I picked up my journal (the hard copy, written kind) and starting writing in it again. Not only have I started writing in it, but I've been reading through it.

It made me realize that although I have so many things, there are only a few that I really cherish. I suggest reading my musings, maybe something will strike you as important.

The most important, by far, are my dreams. Good ones, and bad ones. They are something I created, completely original made up of my fears and worries. They are entwined with everything else I care about, and are there for me when no one else is.

The written, and spoken, word. It doesn't matter what language it is, but words are so important. When I'm sad or feel lonely I cling to my books and surround myself in adjectives that mean something more beautiful than just a few letters combined to create them. People say the English language isn't very beautiful... and that others, like the 'romance' languages, are so much better. But it really depends how you write. Any word can be made extravagant if surrounded by the right meanings.

Music. Usually, I only like music ot a certain extent. I don't listen to the radio, I don't care to really explore what I don't know or accept what I don't want to accept. However, the music that I do like is so valuable to me. That quick little twinkle on the piano that only appears that one time in a song, a deep voice hypnotizing me and bringing me into a darker world, a staccato on the electric guitar, mimicking Irish folk music. A lyric that makes me cry if I hear it too much.

I was lying down, on my bed, feeling unusually upset.
And alone.
It may be because I'm keeping a secret right now... but then again, there are so many things that you can never share with someone.

You can tell your dreams to someone, or even draw it... but will that person understand?

Right now, as I'm being surrounded - suffocated - by the cheerful atmosphere, the only thing i have to myself that I can understand, and have understand me as well, are my dreams... influenced by my books and music.