I want a father figure to trust not a father who will hurt me again

I do realy stupid stuff when I'm bored, which usually leads to someone yelling at me, but I don't care if people yell at me. It's better than being abondoned by my father. Mom tries to tell me that my father doesn't hate me, but I know he does. I haven't seen his since I was like 4or5 for god's sake. If he would come up to me and say "hi" I would probably not even know who he is. He's basically a complete stranger to me. Sometimes i wish EH wasn't my father and that i had someone i could trust. He's the reason I have trust issues against older men. Mom's trying to get me to trust ber boyfriend, but I can't do that. I'm afraid I'll get hurt again. I don't want that. Last time I heard from my father the only thing I can remember is that i was crying because he lied about coming to see me. I always wanted a father figure, but because of that man I cna't trust enough to have a father figure.