In my darkest moments I've found the utmost truth to some stuff. When I was sure that I wanted to kill myself I found myself thinking about death for the obvious reasons. Being brought up with Christian beliefs I wondered if I was going to go to hell. The thought of hell was just to much for me to want to bare for an eternity.
So, I kind of felt like I wanted to back out of killing myself. At the same time though my mind keep working at that thought and an almost innate knowledge swept over me. It is a little hard to explain but at times i felt that I was sure that there was no hell. That there was no place you'd suffer forever for doing something like ,well killing yourself or for doing anything else. I also figured that this wasn't the first time I'd been here.
What I was thinking about was sort of beyond thought. It was something I was just sure of. But at the same time it made me change my mind about killing myself. Did I want this life to end shortly and pointlessly?
This wasn't my first go 'round at life. I just felt like writing it down because the only other person I've told about this is one of my good friends. I'm also not imposing my truth upon anyone else but I don't know I think there is more to this universe that is so simple and beautiful that when you hear it you just know it. I'm not Christian anymore.
I align myself more to the Atheist side of things , but I believe that all of the religious books and writings have a truth to them. Its at the core of all the teachings. Love one another. Be love. We are all one. The books are just metaphorical and have be doctored up to fit certain folks sketch agendas. Hope this doesn't sound like the rantings of a lunatic. . . Hmmm ... I'm a little past crazy though depending on how you define that.
One love,
Tate.
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