I'm Only Human

MAD BEATS (LOL)

If my heart stop beating today would the world shed a tear? I know for sure that if this world just stopped breathing for a bit, I wouldn't cry. If this world stopped beating I could finally live, we all could. It's like an Ultimatum: either we live or the world does and the world is winning. The world turns and we hang on to whatever it is that we call a life and whatever it is that we call enjoyment. This world turns and we are forced to hold onto the conformity that comes with it. If it just stopped we could break free. We could break free and we wouldn't have to do anything we didn't want to do, live a life we didn't want to live. Sure sometimes we find small enjoyments in our daily lives but what about it as a whole? Why can't we just live the lifestyle we so desire to live? I guess the world works the way it's supposed to though, seeing as how we can't live without food and we can't eat unless we work and so we're forced to work for a living. It's a shame though, because if we had all 75 years of our earthly lives to ourselves then maybe the world would be a happier place. People would be doing what they want, how they want and there would be no pressure. I wish this were the world that we lived in, but unfortunately, it never will be. Whoever invented the whole idea of working for a living, no matter how naturally it came, is responsible for billions of broken hearts. Think about it: if we were not forced to do anything, then we could do whatever we want. We could be where we want, with who we want, doing what we want and the suicide rate would go way down. I also wished the world had no expectations, because it's just wrong to fulfill expectations that are not your own. Why please the world and end up hating yourself? Although there is absolutely no good reasoning behind the expectations that we are forced to satisfy, the terrible truth is that there are expectations in the world and we are expected to fulfill them. I’ve never been one to go against the rules that are entrusted upon me, but I can’t help but think of everything that this world is missing out on. It's pretty obvious that I hope for too many impossible things, but I'm only human. I know that most people don’t have crazy issues like myself and could probably care less, but in my own opinion… THIS NEEDS TO STOP. I wish that it was possible to just not care. My whole life I’ve cared about what people thought of me, what the world thought of me and even, what God thought of me. I hate that I can’t just let go for a little bit. I’ll never stop believing there’s a God, but sometimes I wish that the atheists are right: that there really isn’t. All in all, I know that there is a God and I guess he’s behind this world’s conformity. Although I’d truly like for him to let me be, it’s not going to happen. In Civics Class Mr. Broughton use to say that every human being has rights and freedoms, but those rights and freedoms only extend as far as other’s rights and freedoms. It’s a pretty confusing statement, but it makes all the sense in the world. Basically, the rights that we have as human beings only go as far as obstructing someone else’s rights. I guess this is why we have to conform: because living with each other would just not be possible if we were to do whatever we want. It’s amazing how life’s greatest queries come right back to Civics Class. I don’t doubt a bit as to whether or not world would work the way I want it to, because I know it doesn’t, but even so… It would be nice. It would be nice if all things worked out like a math equation (EW ZOE!): if love was just love, if fun was just fun, if hate was just hate, or as Mr. Greene so wisely puts it: “If the world was just black and white.” Billions of minds would be able to comprehend the world as we know it and so many things would be easier. It’s the in-between thoughts that hold us back as human beings. Thoughts like “Oh this is love, but he/she isn’t good enough…” and “I hate this place and I hate what I'm doing, but this is where I'm supposed to be and this is what I am suppose to do for the rest of my life…” I guess although I can blame society as much as I want, the terrible truth is that we, ourselves, are responsible for the unhappiness that we often face and if the world is to spin in the right direction, we have to make it happen. Seeing as to how much harder that is, than it sounds, I'm completely grateful for something greater to make that choice for me: I'm only human.