Depressed And Weak.

-Sighs.- I feel like there is no point to anything any more. Like no point in getting up in the morning. There is just this depression and it's taking over my mind. Yet everyday I push through it plastering a fake smile on my face so people think I'm fine. But all I really want is for someone to see straight through my smile to the real me. The real me isn't happy. The real me isn't smiling. The real me is sad and feeling alone. Feeling misunderstood. Like no one cares anymore about her. No one sees the real me. They see the me thats happy and who's life is perfect and is always smiling and cracking jokes. I want a friend who when I'm crying will comfort me not laugh and tell me to suck it up. I want a true friend. I'm sick of fakes. Pushing me to be some one I'm not. I want to be me. But I can't. And that kills me. Whenever I try I get laughed at for my weak attempts. I feel weaker then ever. I hate that. I hate feeling weak. I used to be the one who was making people laugh and smiling true smiles all the time. Not anymore. I'm just depressed and weak.