Just because it's pissing me off >:[ (don't comment)

So I KNOW I'm a bitch. And that I scare people. And that I'm a prick. And that I'm patronising. And that I'm a 'dangerous person to know, and deadly to be friends with'. But I'm facking sorry, okay?! I don't realise I'm like that! I have a twisted perception of other people's feelings, I don't realise when I'm truely hurting people. Honestly..I don't have a intentionally bad bone in my body. I just wish everyone else could see that!

Like this girl. I think she's really sweet. She get's picked on a bit, but I think she's really nice, and she's never been anything except lovely to me. Yet yesterday, her sister was at the cathedral shouting at me that I was a prick and a bitch and things. When I asked the girl about it today, she told me I was vile to her and she frequently went home and cried. When I told her how sorry I was that she thought that's what I was like, and I'm sorry for making her feel like that, she told me that it wasn't so much me as everyone else.

I need to be a LOT more careful.

Now the bit that's pissing me off:

There's this other girl. We never became like, proper friends, I guess I just didn't really talk to her, but she seemed nice enough. Yet the other day, she told me that she'd always hated me and that I was just oblivious to it, despite how obvious it was. She said a lot of things that really shocked me. Again, I told her how sorry I was that she thought I was like that, because there's no way I'd intentionally go out of my way to hurt her! In the end we called a truce, and I figured that would be okay, if we just worked at it (:

But then I was told that yesterday, she was telling someone that I was an 'evil bitch'. Wtf?! I thought we had a truce girl! :(

Also..I went out with this boy for a bit, then we broke up (my fault) then we went out again then broke up again (AGAIN..my fault). I didn't realise I was losing the thing that mattered most to me :-/ He and this girl I'm on about started going out, and I was really really surprised at how sickeningly jealous I was. It felt awful to see him with her, and how they were so happy and had everything going for them. They broke up after ages (Okay, I admit that was my fault). Me and the boy are going out again (third time lucky I hope). And know he's totally going to use all this against me ;P

But then I found out like, just how far they'd got, base-wise. And I know it shouldn't, but it made me feel like I don't match up as a girlfriend. I'm always comparing myself to her. I tried to make a joke out of it, but it did kind of mean a lot :-/

I'm just paranoid, cos I've been hurt before, and he means SO much to me.

So guys, I'm sorry for being a bully. I don't mean it.