June 20th, 2000
This morning was a really bad morning for me, i don't understand why my brothers always have to pick on me. Just because i'm the youngest. People say the middle child is the one who suffers the most, I dont see how. Yes maybe because the youngest gets what they want, or the oldest does everything first. The middle, is like the average. I dont see whats so wrong about that. The youngest gets picked on, the youngest gets tortured by the others. They are not "mature" enough to know anything that is going on in the family. I got in a fight with my brothers this morning and my mom sided with them, but i dont get why she does. Just because i am younger, doesnt mean im wrong. my parents dont understand, and i cant tell them. They dont know what i am going through. I just need someone. Someone to rely on, Someone who i can trust. Someone to love, and love me back. For who i am not what i pretend to be. My dad wants me to be perfect and my step mom pushes me further and further away from my dad. My brothers hurt me and i dont think they want to help me, im just a hopeless little girl. who doesnt know right from wrong.My mom and step dad are always busy. Sometimes i wish i had a sister to tell my problems to. I dont know what to do anymore. I cry myself to sleep wishing i could be with the guy i love. I wish he knew how i felt. I hope he is okay. I dont want this to be like this anymore.
My wish is. That one day. I will.
Be.
Happy.
When im with him and him alone, i could shine brighter then the sun.
But when things are too far for my reach, I am darker then the darkest place on earth.
Things could be so much better then they are. but happiness doesnt come with a boy. It radiates off of him. Only can you have it when your next to him. in his arms. Loved by him. and thats when you know you have found the right one.
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