A love/hate relationship.

I have a love/hate relationship with my best friend. I love her to death at times, but other times I hate her so much.

I guess it's because it hurts to be around her, but that has to do with my jealousy of her.

She's amazing. Everyone loves her. Everyone cares about her. She's gorgeous. Any time we go out guys stare after her. People are so quick to want to be around her.

It's not like that for me.

Our mutual friends really don't care about me like they do her. They forget I'm in the room half the time. Most people hate me because I'm honest. I'm not gorgeous. When I go out with her I feel like the ugliest person on the planet. No one really wants to be around me, but I don't blame them. I don't want to be around myself either.

Being around my best friend just reminds me of how I'm not wanted and how no one cares.

Sometimes I just wish I could stop being her friend. I can't do that though. I would have no friends if I did that.

I really have no idea why I wrote this now. I guess I just needed a way to vent or something. The venting didn't help like I thought it would though. Maybe I should just delete this because...now I'm rambling.