another reason to join the i hate boys club

i guess i wasnt very careful.

do you know what it feels like to be forgotten ?
do you know how much it sucks for someone to tell you iloveyou,
laugh with you, text you nonstop, hug you tight, be dumb with you, fight&&make up with you, fall asleep on them when they phone you at 4 am, spend hours everyday with you&&then one little change comes along&&you turn around&&they’re gone ?

you have no idea.
you promised.
you said you’d keep this alive.
you broke your promise.
you broke this.
was there even anything
to begin with ?
or did i just let
my imagination
grow too big ?
i dont know but,
what sucks even more
is knowing you have been forgotten.
to walk by each other
and only exchange simple hi's.

after all we have been through, all the time we put into this, all these last months...just a hi ? doesnt feel right. what happened ? we used to never be able to stop talking&&now just a hi ? you dont even try anymore. you promised.

i knew from the start this would happen. so why did i take the chance anyway ? knowing i would get hurt like this, knowing you wouldnt care. Knowing you…but i guess i just had to. i had to learn somehow.

&&i did learn today. i learned that nothing works without two people putting in effort. i learned that no matter how much you care, some people dont care back. i learned promises are to be broken if they werent meant to be kept. i learned that it takes years to build up trust&&only seconds to destroy it. i learned that two people can look at the same thing&&see something totally different. i learned that the people you care about the most are taken from you too soon. i learned that you cannot make someone love you. all you can do is be someone who can be loved. the rest is up to them.

im learning…but it doesnt mean im done hurting.

but i know theres something else life has in store for me. i just havent found it yet. going through this just lets me put another check mark by something i have experienced in life. something i can say i have been through&&it leaves me one step closer to finding the thing i have been looking for. it just happened to not be you&&that’s okay. i will heal.

for now,
im just
gonna
let time
do its
thing&&
move the
fuck on.