Day 98

Urrgh!

I’m in a melancholy mood tonight. It’s storming outside, rain coming down in buckets and thunder so loud it’s shaking my walls. I feel that the power might go out at any moment; the screen flickers with every bolt of lightning. If it does, I’ll be reduced to singing old blues songs in my cheap, fake microphone that I love so. Funny, it was storming when I woke up this morning, too. I hate that. That means I have to spend most of my day fighting with the newspaper delivery people to get a dry paper.

Thunderstorms used to scare the holy crap out of me. Not the storm part, there’s something sort of exciting about that. It was more the fact that they sometimes bring tornadoes, which are still fascinating while terrifying. I spent my youth learning everything I could about them, part of me believing that fear could be overcome with knowledge. Because, how can you fear what you understand, right? Yet every storm that came along left me holding tightly to my most valuable possessions and praying to whatever I believed in. Now that I’m older I realize it wasn’t the physical aspect of it at all. Tornadoes are unpredictable, angry, unforgiving. If I were to get all mystic, I’d say for me they equal uncertainty, and God, I hate not knowing.

Or maybe I just over think things.