Dissecting The Rainbow - July 14th

I really hate how this fucking superficial world is getting to me. Until you perfect you're shunned from society by nearly everyone, that's why I'm in great fucking pain now. That's why I can't breath right now, why I'm 102 degrees, why my lips are bleeding. Why my bed will be missing a certain someone tonight.

This is going to be a long journal to get my mind off of my new braces. A big, painful, annoying, sharp, disgusting, unattractive hunk of wires they decided to put on my teeth to make me 'perfect.' I guess writing about them won't get my mind off them, but, whatever.

It all started when I had to wake up at nine. When you get used to waking up at 3:00 AM, waking up at 9 is not easy. So, they throw me out of bed, throw me in to a recliner and start poking me with metal instruments. Looping brackets around my teeth. My 60 percent overbite. My one backwards tooth. My crowded molars or whatever the hell they come up with to further distance me from those perfect bitches.

So all that's done, I'm thinking, "Hey, that's not too bad. I don't feel anything." Well surprise surprise you fucking shitface. Eating something is pretty much a joke. I never really wanted these anyway. "Oh! It will be soooo worth it!" They keep saying that.

My dad doesn't understand a word coming out of my mouth. He thinks it's 'Not that bad!' I tell him how it feels like someone is stabbing my gums, how I feel really hot. He just gives me Tylenol. But, of course, he only has the children's kind. The chewable kind. Fucking joke.

Not only is this contraption painful, it's just annoying too. It's a little parasite. It makes you hot, it feels like it's propelling 30 feet from your teeth. It makes you want to bang your head against the nearest hard object and scratch the ever loving shit out of the back of your neck with your fingernails. I get these for two years.

Me and my friend Maddie go biking to go eat. Ha. This part isn't going to be about my mouth, nor the food going in to my mouth. Here at the newly redesigned restaurant, persnickety waiters and waitresses who call themselves matridees or some made up self-importance like that.

As I attempt to chew, Maddie, she tells me about how her friend Breanna attempted to lose her virginity. Please note that I hate Breanna's guts. So she is dating this manslut Cody who is 3 years older than her (For her age that's quite a bit) who was going to fuck her. She says he went in twice before she stopped him. He says he got in an inch before she said it hurt too much.

That bitch thinks fingering hurts. There has to be something wrong with that woman's pussy.

Maddie was also talking about how she was looking at "someone" who was sitting with their legs spread open. Pretty much letting his sun shine. Apparently so brightly she couldn't help but notice that his cock was 5 inches long. I really didn't know how to respond to that, so I just gave her a weird-ass look and tried to take a bite of food. She was talking about how she looked up the normal length of a flaccid dick and said "damn." I rolled my eyes.

I told her how I knew who she was probably talking about. Her ex-boyfriend who she sill loves more than anything. They broke up on account of him turning out to be gay. She's mentioned him falling asleep like that. If I were him I'd feel violated. I felt violated just talking to her. So, we cut dinner short, she has to go to horseback riding. Cut to me trying to fall asleep. Cut to me waking up in a puddle of sweat. Cut to me writing this. The fucking end.