Why am I still here?

Hola Amigos and amigas lol ^^

Note: this blog is about how I am really feeling, not for attention. This also has nothing to do with me not having a BF okay.

Lately i dont know...I've been feeling like why am i still on this earth. All this week i've been so down and so stressed out (for what reasons i dont know). I've been feeling like I cant do anything right. I started cutting again (with a safety pin) to just relase stress. I know its bad okay. Even then it doesnt work.

Also I've been feeling that I have so many secrets from my friends at school. Its like I cant trust no one at my school, even the teachers and consulors. Even friends. I just feel if i told someone one, everything would be out and rumors would be spread around. I feel like one big beautiful lie to everyone .

Hobbies dont even help me relax much anymore, drawing makes me icky inside. Collecting things dont help me anymore either. Nothing i like to do much anymore helps make me happy. I dont know what to do. I dont know why I even exist.

I know I sound like an attetion getter. But i'm not. I hate doing this to my friends and Family and all that. I just wish i could tell them. I wish i was not like this. (I know I wish too much) but whatever.

Could you please try to give me advice. I dont know how long i can keep this all in me. If you do thanks so much.

Thanks for reading and caring...It means so much to me, and Commenting too.

<3