Tonight led to a very interesting moment with Dennis. We were outside his house, leaning over an old fence, waiting for our food order to be ready. The both of us just stood there, looking out at the street ahead of us. There is construction going on in our neighborhood, making the streets look more shitty than they already do. Then it came to the both of us. What the hell are we doing here? We don't belong here, in what we call the slums of Southwest Philly. We don't fit in here. The both of us look like outsiders. It's poverty, violence, and extreme drug use surrounding the both of us as we stood there. We both want out. But there's really no place for us to go. I have school and work, and Dennis has his job, and his family. So we're really stuck here until we both gets jobs that will keep us both financially stable.
Dennis still wants me to move in with him. And I should. He gave me all the pros and cons of why I should move in with him and his family. We were able to come up with more pros than cons. There is really no need for me to stay in this house. So what is my reason for staying here. It's simple. Fear. I'm afraid of the response I'll get from my mom. I shouldn't, but I am. You know what, I really REALLY hate that I'm loyal. Loyalty is the reason I'm in this mess.
I have a feeling though. That sooner or later my patience will be tested. And, I will just blow up and have a Carrie moment. I'll snap on everyone, just pack my stuff and leave. But until then, I'll just have to suck it up.
Not registered?
Create an account