(Funny) Tips For Your High School Career

1. When possible, avoid verbal contact with people while in the bathroom. The only exception to this is if you know another person in the bathroom. Listening to people pee is awkward enough without having to talk to them afterwards.

2. Don't talk about people in a negative way unless you are 107% positive that they nor someone else who would tell them what you said is within audible distance.

3. Avoid telling people whom you know will blab your secrets. Secrets spread quickly, just like rumours, and so it could be only an hour before everyone in your school knows that you __________.

4. Under no circumstances should you ever cry silently in the back of a class after you were just made fun of. Even if you are sitting at the farthest corner from these obnoxious people who caused you tears and think they're cool.

5. Never let a boy play with your emotions and make you think that he likes you, because two weeks later, he will inexplicably stop talking to you at all. And then he will start hitting on your close friend two months later. The explanation from both of these is that he is just a horny bastard and has most likely hit on all the girls attending your school at one point or another, and you should not take it personally.

6. If the same boy tells you he is going to the same concert as you are the next day, he is probably lying straight through his teeth.

7. Don't cuss too loud or too often while outside of classrooms. Teachers in said classrooms can most likely hear you, and they will be offended.

8. Don't listen to your iPod or other MP3 device after the timed limit in front of your Vice Principal. He will not buy your story about how you thought iPods could be used until 8:05 instead of 8 o'clock. He will then proceed to give you a demerit, even if you were telling the truth about your misunderstanding.

9. Pay attention in sex ed/health class. Even though it seems boring at times, once the guy sitting next to you keeps whispering "sexxxx....", and the teacher starts cracking really funny jokes, it will be a lot more fun.

10. The sad truth that you're going to have to face at one point or another is that your geometry teacher is probably an undiscovered pedophile. You'd be suprised. Honors geometry applies too.

11. Befriend gay boys at your school. Chances are that they're really sweet and think the same boys are cute as you do, and then you can talk about how hott they are.

12. If there are 4 sets of twins in your grade, chances are that only one out of eight of them is actually nice.

13. Avoid any type of awkward moment, ever.

14. If you go around waving to people, make sure that they wave back at you, or else you will look like a serious dumbass.

15. Under no circumstances should you invite your non-Chiodos-loving preppy friends to one of their concerts with you. They will be offended at first, but then thank you down the line when you come back and show them all of your bruises.

16. No matter how funny it is to watch, do not let your male friends write their numbers on a girl wearing a rainbow studded belt because it will cause trouble down the line.

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all based on personal experience
July 19th, 2008 at 06:34pm