Old Rant - Embarrassment

**All these all old rants are found in my dirty, filled and torn notebook laying under my mattress.

I don't do things because I think it will matter later on, in the way that it will make me shake my head and shut my eyes and scream into my fists, but if I really think about it - would I even remember? My memory's so bad already. I don't think I'll even care. Funny how I think I know myself so well, yet I don't know what I'm going to say to the next person, let alone where I'll be in twenty years.

--scribbled later on in the notebook--

Is this what it is like to discover yourself? To question and regret and analyze everything? To make amends for yourself and others?