He left. . .

Yeah I know what you're thinking "He left? Who? Your boyfriend?". No, not even close. . . My brother the only blood family I had, left. .. yeah the one who's in the NAVY the one who I almost always use to complain about. . .

He left at about 12:30 pm today. I've been trying hard not to cry, but it's so damn hard. . . I keep telling myself that I need to be strong, I need to be the glue that holds this family together. . .

I can't let his leaving affect me. . . I can't cry. . . I know that one day, he'll hopefully return. . . I know deep down in my heart, that he won't pull a stunt like our bio-mom and just up and leave me. . . I know that him leaving is good for him, but I hate the fact that I didn't even know all that much about him. . . I still don't. . . . All I know is that he tried his hardest to protect me. . .

The good thing? He gave me a hug before he left. . . You're probably thinking "So what, it's JUST a hug." No it wasn't JUST a hug. It was A hug. . . He never hugged me, nor did he ever let me hug him. . . The only people he would hug was/is almost everyone BUT me. . . It's hard to think about it. . . I know that I look like HER, but that doesn't mean he can be a jack ass to me. . . I just wish I knew exactly why he acted like he hated me. ..

I once over heard him telling our adopted mom that he hated me because of HER, because I reminded him so much of HER that he couldn't stand it. . . He sometimes was a good brother. . . but he made me cry a lot. . . he always found a way to make me feel bad. . .

I should go. . . thinking of these memories are making me rather sad. .. this is all for now. . .
I'm OUT