I'm So Sick Of Everything

Ok so basically, I needed to just get some stuff out. And I figured...This might be a good way to do that.
So here I am, talking about things.
One of my best friends started cutting himself, and I really don't know what to do or say to help him through it, even though I do the same thing.
My friends and family all think I've stopped cutting, but it's only been getting worse and is now on my leg instead of my arm.
Seeing my counselor makes me feel like guys in white coats are gunna pull up in a van one day, chuck a straight jacket and throw me in the back of the van and put me in a mental hospital.
My family hate me, they tell me daily that I'm a failure and I should die.
I'm losing my best friend, or at least it seems that way.
I saw my friend Kathryn yesterday for the first time in over 7 months and then when she left I got really depressed again.
I've been told I have mild/moderate depression, an anxiety disorder and possibly bi-polar, which really sucks.
I'm just so sick of everything, and I dunno how much longer I can do this for.
It seems..All I ever do, is screw things up, make people hate me, push away the people I love, and I hate it.
I'm fat, and ugly, and a pain in the ass. I'm totally useless.
I hate being me.
I hate being alive.
I won't be alive much longer I don't think...
Only thing keeping me going is my friends, and I'm losing them all anyway.
So as soon as they're all hating me, I'll be dead.

Kimi xx
28/7/08