I Must Be Retarded

Okay to be honest here I personally have never been in a serious relationship. First thing I've had a few boyfriends three to be exact. Secondly there weren't anything serious more like a fling like my sister likes to call them. Thirdly I've had very good guy friends who I have had very strong feelings for. But I have to admit something I am afraid of being in a relationship. I just feel like that I am going to let my boyfriend down and not be the best of girlfriend that I can be.

I've met this guy and he's extraordinary. He knows how to make me laugh and feel great about myself. You know he makes my knees shake, my stomach to have butterflies and my heart go a hundred miles a minute. But I'm afraid of taking the next step and making it official as boyfriend and girlfriend.

He's twenty three and I'm nineteen and I know he has some experience on me. I won't lie I'm a virgin and I'm just scared at what the relationship will build up to. I'm writing this here because my friends are not helpful at all they just laugh at me. I just want to know if there are other people who feel the same way I do. That they are scared of being in a relationship because they don't know what to expect.

I'm probably not making any sense at all but I guess I don't know any other way to put it. I'm afraid that I will be a disappoint to him and that he will just get rid of me because I'm too boring to him. I mean we have great conversations and we have a lot in common and I have never felt so close to a person before in my life.

So I think I'm done rambling now. I believe that I have made my point if your confused after reading this sorry. And if you think I'm just retarded and being stupid and thats fine as well. I'm just lost and confused and don't know what to do in this situation.