Hmmm

So I was having an alright few days.
A few problems...
But I managed ok.
I didn't cut for...4 days straight...Which is good for me.
Sat at home yesterday by the fire reading, then went and had a good night at the movies with some friends.
And then today...
My dad was an ass
He said that...I should get a gun and shoot myself. That no one will care if I do. It'd fix all the problems. That he wishes I was more like my sisters Mel and Karen and my brother Anthony. That I'm a failure and should die because I'm a fat ugly bitch.
Everything he said...
Was right...
I nearly did kill myself.
I had a bottle of some..Silver polish stuff...
Is like extremely poisonous.
I took like 17 nurofen (they're like painkillers), half a bottle of cough syrup and 7 panedeine forte (other painkillers, very strong)...
Yet it did nothing.
I should be dead now
Passed out at least
And that plus the cutting
My leg is still bleeding, like seven hours later.
And no one's noticed.
Had dinner at Mel's house tonight.
Everyone was there; my mum, my father, Mel, her fiance Luke, Karen, Anthony, his girlfriend Renee and her daughter Charni, my nephew Nicholas.
And all of them thought I was fine.
Only person who ever notices is Matt
He's Karen's boyfriend
He seems to be the only one who cares.
Everyone got angry at me when I first started cutting, but he talked to me about it calmly.
He understands.
But tonight...
He wasn't there.
I was sitting in a corner, crying for about 2 hours, and they still didn't notice.
My leg was bleeding through my jeans...
And they didn't notice.
They seriously don't care.
I'm so sick of all this....
xx