That's right! I said it!
Warped.Tour.Has.Gone.To.Utter.SHIT!
What ever happened to... oh, I don't know... The Used on Warped? Or My Chemical Romance. I mean, those were the times.
And I know they've gotten too big to play Warped, but what ever happened to those bands? The ones that actually mean something and are worth me giving two shits about?
Let's see... let me just list a few bands [some on full Warped and some not] that I have problems with;some have with them explanations, some more or less speak for themselves. Ehem...:
Alesana - *cough*
As I Lay Dying - ...
Bring Me The Horizon - Talk about just plain suicide-inducing screamo. Make me want to rip my ears off Van Gogh style, for fucks sake.
Cobra Starship - Oh geez. Oh my god. I can't even- I... um... *shrugs*. I would hope this one speaks for itself.
The Color Fred - Simply because dear Freddy made the worst descision of his life by quitting TBS. Good ambitions, Freddy;too bad they led you the wrong way.
Forever The Sickest Kids - While I would pick these guys over Cobra Starship anyday [I really don't know why I would ever need to be in this position] they still don't tickle my fancy at all. In any way.
From First To Last - It's just not the same without Sonny... *sigh*
Katy Perry - She had one song that was on every radio station for about a week and she got on Warped... the song was about being a one-minute-lesbian too. OMFG LES TTLLY GIVE HER LOTSA PROPS AND STREET CRED NAO CUZ SHE STUD UP FER UZ GHEYS!!1 Or how about no. In my light, you just made yourself look stupid. GTFO MY SITE.
Matisyahu - Haha, really? I thought this dude's one hit died out like... two years ago...
Paramore - HAH. HAHAHAHA. AHAHAHA. Okay, sorry. It's just- AHAHAHAHA! I just needa compose myse- HAHAHAHAHA! Alright. I'm done.
Relient K - I actually have no idea who these guys are, but just the simple fact that they remind me of the most side-splitting, rediculous, Elvisesque-fronted band ever [Julien K] is enough to put them on my naughty list. Sorry guys.
Skeet Skeet - Rofl, dude. Is there seriously a group of people that call themselves that? I'm so not into even typing that into the Googles to see whats up with them. NEXT.
We The Kings - Don't like their stylez.
3OH!3 - ...oh boy...
For the most part, those bands are all full of shit. Half are in it for money, more just want attention, some want groupies, others are just washed out, one has anally fucked themselves by being stupid and making bad choices, more are just rediculous and a joke and they know it. The funny [and stupid] thing is, I don't even have to research some of them to know they're complete bullshit.
The only bands on Warped I would ever give kudos to are:
Angels and Airwaves - Tom Delonge. I mean, ultimate win right there?
Gaslight Anthem
Gym Class Heroes
Jeffree Star - You have to give him cred. I mean, what with all the shit people throw at him, he has to be a tough bitch. Either that or he gets stepped allover. Also, better to know your fabulous than to be self concious.
Pennywise - Fucking awesome punk band. Good descision with only playing a few shows.
Bouncing Souls - Once again, fucking phenominal punk band. Beyond awesome. Good choice. Hate for the scene kids to catch on to their amazingness. My pills are ready to be taken the day those types of conceited ass-fuckers take over my turf.
Rise Against
Say Anything
Valencia - They're cool. I can digg.
You, Me, Everyone We Know - I've heard one song by them and I like. Hopefully the rest doesn't suck.
Anywho, what I'm trying to get at here is, these new bands suck.
Powerpop is such bullshit. All the bands are just flavor's of the month who have these stupid kids who follow them and stick to their every word.
They get rich fast. Too fast.
They climb to the stop of the iTunes Top 10 with their songs about fucking their awesome scene groupies.
They wear their v-neck shirts, which actually can look good on some people, but if you wear it you needa make sure you look good, dudes. I mean honestly... if you have the face of a rhino and the body of a twelve-year-old boy [*cough* Trace Cyrus *cough cough*] your chest isn't really something you want to be showing off. Even more so if it's adorned with some shit chest-peice.
They form these fucking cults of kids who are so blind by these stuck-up assholes that they don't even have minds of their own anymore. These bands breed fucking MySpace whores and overly self-obsessed bitches with inflated hair to match their inflated egos.
These types of people wouldn't piss me off so much if it weren't for their overall demeanor and attitude. The general "Look how hot I am" shit doesn't fly with me too well.
If you really wanna write songs about nothing and be well-respected with barely anything negative to be said about, be a fuckin' punk band. Stay underground and don't be played on every station. Get big but just big enough where a lot of people know your name, but the fake kids don't.
I honestly just feel bad for the people who genuinely love to write up-beat songs written in all major chords who get lumped in with these shit life-sucking bands.
I admit, I probably have lumped some in the mix of shit, somewhere in there, but definitely not on purpose.
And don't get me wrong;for most of the bands I've ranted on about, I have full respect for [most of] all of them. Trace Cyrus can suck my dick. I have full respect for the people who don't ride their ticket all the way to the top where they use their fame to anally rape everything they can get their hands on and smoke away what money they received for every iTunes single they sold.
I can respect most people as individuals, but one band member can always taint everyone else and I've seen it happen many a time.
I'm sure some of the people are actually really nice and just plain awesome people who I'd love to get to know, but I'd never want to know them by finding out they're in _____ band. That would most likely just be a turn-off and not make me want to get to know them.
Like that Alex Gaskarth dude. I forget what band he's in, but I think he's actually a pretty chill person. I'd totally wanna sit inna diner and share some fries with him, but ask me to listen to his music and I'd have to snort a line. Seriously.
And now is where I stop ranting.
I just thought it was in order for me to point out why Warped Tour is now a crock of bullshit and someone needs to save it's soul before the complete and utter neonness won't be broken up by other mixes of people and the fest will be viewable from spacecrafts thus blinding most respectable astronauts, making it impossible for them to return home safely to their friends and family. [A little neon is nice, but there's a fine line, dudes...]
So, the moral of this all is, never trust anyone who's hair you can't see over.
P.S. I'm sorry if this turns out to be someone who is reading this, but... god damn its just such a good representation of Warped-Tour-goers this year! Sheesh!
That does look like it takes effort too...
Good work on your depletion of the ozone layer, you stupid prick.
You are supposed to suffer for fashion, not the rest of us who'd like our grandchilren to one day see some plant life.
Self-centered little...