Dear Unloving

Dear Unloving,
I still love you, and I can’t take it. I sit here pining for you, and watching you roam from girl to girl without any thought of what we used to be. I hate that I’m the only one still believing in us, but I hate the fact that I can’t give it up even more. I know that you don’t feel that way about me anymore, and you have no idea how much pain those words cause me. They're like razors cutting straight through my heart, mercilessly. And like usual, I’ll hide it all away and put on that strong face for the world, for you. I promised that I would be your shoulder to lean on, and I plan to keep that promise.I won’t let you see me break, not ever again. I’m trying, I really am, to be content with just being your best friend and not your favorite love, but it’s agonizing work. I love being your confidant, but I can’t help wanting more. I can’t help but wanting time to rewind back to the summer of ’06, the summer we met, the summer that changed my life. I miss you, so much. I know I’m being greedy and selfish, and I hate myself for it. I hate everything about me that lives for you. It’s the part of me that subconsciously tears apart every relationship that I’ve had and that will continue to tear apart the future ones, friendships included.
I want you to love me back so badly, but that will never happen, will it? I don’t believe it will happen, but I can’t let go. I’ve tried very hard, and still come up short. I’m just not good enough for you, not especially while you’re so wrapped up in her. I envy her. She has everything that I want, my world and more. Everything that I’ve dreamed about, she has it within her reach and she takes it all for granted, you especially.I love you. I don’t think I can stand this any longer. In this letter is everything I want to say to you, and everything you will never know. Take care of my heart – I’ve left it with you.
Signed,
Unloved