The Beginning

okay so i was born in France, in Lyon to be exact. when i was two years old i saw one of my older brothers, Jonathan, shot twice and was killed insantly. that day i was out side and some guy really hated my mum so he drove by and starting shooting and Jonathan jumped right in front of me to protect me. after that my mum had a mental breakdown and my twin sister and i went to go live with my dad. at the time my dad was on his second wife.(my parents were never married) she was okay. life was somewhat okay until about two months later when my dad and hi second wife got divorced. he soon re-married and my sister and i hated her. she was really mean to us but my dad didn't know bcause of him working all the time. he was in the navy. (hence why my sister ans i was born in France) but one day she couldn't take my sister and i so she filed for divorce. my dad got a nanny for us and started dating agian. he went through his 4th and 5th wives quickly and also about six nannies. what can i say my sister and i at that time was horrible. when my dad got married for the sixth time though, my sister and i started to really dift apart and we hated the new wife (the only thing we could agree on) and one day when we were about six we decided to sneak into her abd our dad's room to cut her hair. our dad was across seas so we didn't care. (we lived in Japan by then.) when she woke up she came straight for us and yanked my sister by her hair, pulling out a big clump, so naturally i kicked her and then stabbed her with a knife. she didn't die or anything but she needed about 10 stiches. after that my dad once again got divorced.(BIG surprise there. note: sarcasum) then some three wives later, my dad met rachel, his current wife and longest marraige he has ever had. she hated me from day one, i hated her from day five. really i was nice to her until she told me to clean the house. so i called her a bad name in Finnish, French and English. then she got pregnant three months later. with twins. when she was four months pregnant though, we got into a really big fight. i don't even know why we were fighting anymore. and she stormed out the house and drove off. literally ten minutes later she was sandwich between a tree and a Ford tuck and she lost my unborn baby sister and my baby brother.(thank she did have two more thoguh. Jukka, my brother, is three and Lusa, my sister, is about five months) and it was my fault. i knew i shouldn't have started something so dumb that i didn't even remember it right after it was over. i should have just kept my mouth shut and walked away. but no. i had to sit there and yell back. i felt really bad afterwards. then when i was 11 my dad did something so unforgive that i'm not even going to say it and i had to move back in with my mum because i couldn't stand looking at him, acting like everything was okay when it wasn't. i wouldn't. so here i am and i've been through eveything from being kicked out to being pregnant to finding out my dad had an arranged marriage set up for me to losing my sister as my best friend to seeing my mum being hurt by guy after guy. (thank God Almighty she found the RIGHT one and they are happily married) you see i have reason to hate rachel (okay not really but i still hate her) and my dad. heck i still dislike my mum for all she put me through too. and because of it i have trust issues and i rather read a book than walk out my bedroom door. i'm scared to let people get to know the real me because i'm afraid they might hurt me like everyone else in my family. kinda fucked up life huh? well i guess i'm done.

night
mara