Thirteen Reasons Why: A Novel

Recently, I stocked up on reading material for the summer. I have heard from this very site that the book, Thirteen Reasons Why, was an amazing novel. I'm not sure if I would call it amazing, but I would call it a "good" book in a sense that it's making me feel a certain way and think in a way that I wouldn't normally think.

If any of you have ever read this book, you know the plot; girl who commited suicide sent around tapes that are circulating to the people who made her "list". On the tapes she explains how each person fits into the story and how all of them essentially drove herself to kill herself. (If that sounds wrong, let me know- I haven't finished reading the book yet, I'm like 40 pages away from finishing!)

I feel like I can relate to the main character though. At one point in the novel, she felt so alone, even though she had people who claimed to be her friends. I think I relate because I just feel alone. I have so many people (minus the rare two who aren't around) who claim they are my friends, but they aren't. They treat me like shit and walk over me like a doormat. And I know deep down, though eveyone says that they are there for me, I'm alone.

I don't know. Books like that put me in a weird mood. But stuff has been happening around me lately, and this book has really opened my eyes. I don't desreve the people I have. More like they don't deserve me and all I do for them. They take me forgranted and use me. I want to change and just dump them and move on, but this has happened to me before. I lost everything last time. I just don't know if I will ever be able to break this vicious cycle or bad luck or just careless friend-making because I don't know how to.