This is so weird, and amazing for me - why aren't I happy?

Hey, guess what. I turns it, this guy that is really close to me, Ryan, isn't dead after all!

You would think this would make me extremely happy, but for some reason, I feel just as lost, lonely and confused as before.

I'm over the moon that he isn't dead. But even with him here to help me again, I feel just as bad as I did whe he was 'dead'.

I feel like something is wrong with me, like something is missing.

I'm confused. I'm lonely. I'm lost.

Can somebody help me to find myself?

Or am I just a hopeless case?