worthless

It tends to happen when I get bored and I have nothing to do, I get depressed. Sad but true. For those who are reading this thinking emo rant, go ahead and think it. But it's my true feelings. I hate myself and it's amazing I'm still holding on.... just simply amazing. In my position, all I can do is sit and wait to die. I don't think someone will rescue me, I'm beginning to lose what I've got left. HOPE.

It sucks, big time. The only other things that're helping hold on is my writing and my favorite bands that're helping me hang on when the world seems so against me and is trying to push me off.

Three Days Grace
Tokio Hotel
My Chemical Romance

Maybe more, but those three are my main ones. Just so you know, I'm barely hanging on here. I could die if I wanted, but my dad taught me better than that. I have more self control than I let on.... If only grams would stop jabbing at me, nagging on me about every little thing that I do.

I want to get a tattoo of one of HIM's heartagrams and get this, she doesn't belive me when I say it's just a symbol for the band. " It's a hex symbol." she says. Fuck grandma! I'm not god, I don't know everything. Yet your ridicule me for not knowing everything, or you're unhappy that I'm not perfect.

Mom is all for the tattoo and is giving me permission. Aunt Stacey, she's not happy about it. She doesn't support getting tattoos till I'm 18, so I don't think that I can count on her for helping me earn money. Fuck, has everyone turned on me in this place?