Have you ever been really hurt? Not just oh that hurts. No. Betrayed hurt. The type of hurt you go into your room and cry about until your cheeks are streaked black from the mascara you were wearing. That’s what I’m going through. Friends walk in and out of my life like I’m a door and they don’t mind hurting me during the process.
I don’t know whom to turn to anymore. I don’t want to bring other friends into my problems and I don’t want to bring them down but I can feel myself slowly falling apart.
The saying ‘boys come and go but friends will always be there’ (or something like that I’ve never paid enough attention to memorize it) isn’t true for me. My ex has always been there for me from my lowest times to my happiest times. Why can’t I find a best friend like that? I guess he’s considered one but that’s a little different.
I bet you're wondering what the heck I’m rambling on about. Well let’s just say I messed up, I told a friend I thought I could trust, they got mad and said I lied to them and ended up telling people about it. That's the very short version of it.
Isn’t it true that everyone makes mistakes? Why can’t I be forgiven for mine? And what did I do to make her tell someone who doesn’t care about me and another friend who I really wanted to keep out of all this? I have all these unanswered questions and what ifs.
So I guess I’ll just go on with my life. That’s what I always do when a friend walks out. And each time I’m just a little more prepared than I was the last.
What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, right?
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