Light Up Your Letters

dear no one specifically,
i feel like i keep missing my chances. on the smallest of things, on the biggest of things, whatever. but even if it was nothing i missed out on, it still fucks with me a bit. i'm tired of waiting on what feels like nothing. i'm just sitting here, going through the motions, having no life, feeling like shit physically or whatever, and just.. hanging on to the few strings i can. i don't know what i want and that is the most frustrating thing. i'd rather know and be so far away from it, than be so far away from something i don't know.
if that makes sense. which it doesn't.
& here's where i start to think. i'm only 14, a freshman in school a month away. should i care? should i be thinking/feeling this way? shouldn't i just.. be.. i don't know, doing what my friends are all doing? being a whore, basically. nah, because i don't want that for some reason. what makes me different? sometimes i hate that i am, but mainly i like it. but if i'm not going to take the same route as them, what do i do? i. don't. know.
& then i feel as terrible as i've ever felt for dwelling on my pathetic life. my parents are so depressed. i can see so clearly. and just, i can't do anything. they hate how life is going for them and i just wish more than anything else that they could be happy. but it all boils down to the money we don't have. they feel bad for that. and it's only going to get worse. and just i cry all the time over their happiness and i just want them to have it. but they're so selfless that they don't even care for themselves, it's all us. no no no no no. :| why can't i be blind to emotion like every other friend of mine? they just do things and don't care. i care more, way way more than i should. why. njkhfaekq.

yeah, uh,
- nikki.

Dear person pretending to be Severus Snape on Twitter,

Seriously, you're a proper legend (':

Love, Pippa x

Dear thing in my brain that should generate sleepiness,

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

Amy x

Dear K,

Words cannot describe the disgust I feel when I think of you. Seriously, you are the most pathetic. I don't care what shit you're going through, I've heard it all before and frankly it's a lame excuse for what you've done. I want to tear your head off your shoulders. Some best friend you were. I can't believe what you did to me, seriously, I will never forgive you. Ever.

Amy

Dear;

I know this might be too much to ask for considering I've never done a word of good, it seems, in my entire life, but here I am, asking anyways, and I'd appreciate it if maybe you could at least listen, anyways.
It is not fair. While I've never done good - I've never exactly done bad and I really, really wish that you would just pleaseohplease leave my sanity intact permanently, rather than just for a few months/weeks/days/hours.

Thanks, I guess,
Korynn.

dear michael
please let what they are saying be true.
you have no idea how much it would mean to me.
-the tood to your tommy

dear jonathan groff
please marry lea michele.
you two are too cute.
-fangirl.

Dear S.R.

Please, don't let it go to your head. You're amazing at what you do and I love you because of who you are. September and October will be amazing, and I hope that when I see you, I can give you the longest cuddle.
You've inspired me so much, and you're the best thing to have stepped foot in my life.
- Darcy.

dear girls on the camp thread,
thank you for putting up with all my gifs.
i love you.
-alice

dear amy,

you annoy me. a lot. i would punch you, but it'd hurt.

-amy

Dear woman of his dreams,

Tell your lame boyfriend that babe won't cut it anymore and his lack of passion and curiosity is slowly killing you. Stop waking up at 7 AM just because you have to. Get rid of the constant cycle you know you're sick of and have probably been sick of since it began. Go to the gym. You see the 6 foot 3 dark haired gentleman on the treadmill across the room? His name is John and you are what he's been searching for. You are the one he's been chasing. You are the one he's been trying to pull out of his dreams and place into his reality. You are the woman he's been waiting to meet and you don't even know it, but he knows it. He hasn't found you yet, but somewhere amongst the flashes and noise you have found him. You have been given the opportunity to be alone with him in a quiet world. This is a chance. A chance many girls would die for. A chance that is yours. Take a deep breath and make sure he sees you. Make sure he finds you the way you just found him. He will know what you now know. You are the only light he ever saw. The no one he wrote a love song for. The assassin. The love that has finally returned to him. You are her. Now do him a favor and go be with him.

-nobody.

Leah.

I've put up with a lot of your lies. I've pretended to believe them just so you can get your weird form of satisfaction. I've purposely been pointing out the obvious flaws in them to try and get you to admit that you're lying. I've given up trying to believe you.

Enough is enough.

It's obvious that you're trying to set up that you're pregnant -saying that Luke (we know he's imaginary, just by the way) has been put on medication that, as a side effect, makes him extra fertile, talking about weird cravings and all.
I swear, if I ever hear you say 'I'm pregnant' I am going to lose it. Teen pregnancy is not something you fuck around with. It's something that's effected my family so much, and it's where I draw the line. I don't care how bad this makes me sound, but if you dare say it - I'm calling you out. I'm going to reveal all your lies. I'm going to force you to tell the truth.

-Daizy

Ben, Alex, and Catherine,

SHUT UP!

-Debra

Dear Jo,

Siobhan's being a bitch to you! You should just ignore her... you've got Katrina now and yeah sure she's not the prettiest thing in the world but shes an extremely nice person and only that matters!

-Debzorah

-

Dear Amy,

I miss you! You have to come and see me soon, you hear? I can't come see you, I've used my allowance this month on a phone top-up... Just wanted to tell you though that I was re-reading all your stories and I'm like... wow! You're the best! Your writing really speaks to me, and once I read one line, I'm pretty much hooked. You have the potential to go far, woman! :D <3
I love you, I just thought you should know that :] Read this when you're bored, I KNOW YOU SEARCH MY MIBBA NAME! You are beautiful, crazy and funny and just the best! I love you :D

Debzorahhh! <3


-

Dear Mum,

DOWNLOAD MSN EBUDDY AND MEEBO ARE SHITE!

-Daughter

-

Dear Bob,

Come see me. I miss you so much it hurts. And you're never online anymore, because you're probably busy. I have so many things I want to tell you but I can't form the words. Before I left you, when you said 'Any Last Words?' There were so many things that I wanted to say, I just couldn't form the words! I hate distances... but they do say that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. But why does it feel like it's being stabbed multiple times because I can't see you?!
Rick told me that you're missing me. I want you to tell me yourself. And I want to know if you think about me... because you're never off my mind, to be quite honest. I want to know so many things! I want to feel your arms around me again... but that won't happen for a while now. Damn. Just try to convince your mom to let you come see me! I beg of you, I will do ANYTHING just to see you again.

Rawrs you babe,

Your Debzorah.

Dear sister,

I wonder if you realize that you make me feel like total ick. I feel like I'm living in your shadow, and it really sucks. You're the pretty one who makes everyone laugh. Your the sporty one who made it to college. I'll probably never make it there. I might just go kill myself first, who knows? Your my best friend, but I'm utterly sick of being a step behind you all of the time. I know it's not you, you don't mean it; but it hurts. A lot.

Your little sister

Dear Beau,

Can't you see she hurts you? She lies to you, and you just take it. You can't even confront her, because you'll cry when she starts to cry. You just don't understand how much I appreciate who you are and everything you do for me. You make me feel like the most important person in the world, without trying. I wish you would call me. I'm sorry I didn't answer that one day, I was just so tired... I'm afraid to make the move because, honestly, your parents scare me to death. I love you a lot. This isn't just like Kylie... or any of those relationships. I don't know what I would do without you. I can't imagine life without it. I know you love me, too. She's the only reason we aren't together. We would have been, if you hadn't spotted her that day in freshman year. Remember when we first started talking? You asked me why I was dating Jack, and I could tell you liked me. Why don't we have that anymore? I miss you reassuring me that I'm beautiful and independent, without having to worry about hurting her feelings. I miss those long conversations we used to have about nothing and everything. I miss talking to you on the phone until four in the morning. You may be too blind to notice, but I was lying when I said I'd rather be with her. I heard your voice crack, too. It was heart-breaking to hear your voice get so low, with a soft, "Oh." I'm sorry I lied, but it was probably for the best. I just want you to know that I love you, and I miss you terribly. Not just your jokes and your sensitivity. I miss you.

With all my heart,
Alyshia

Dear Matt,
We've become really close this past few weeks. You're an awesome guy and I'm glad. But you don't know me as well as you think you do. You think you can always tell when I'm upset? Well you can't tell how much it hurts me everytime someone goes on about how hot my best friend is. I may have a boyfriend, but I'm still a human and after the first million guys chasing her and treating me like a shadow it starts to hurt. Please don't turn into one of them.
I doubt you'll ever realize how much damage it does to me.

xx

Dear Debzorah,

You're a sweety hearing you in pain on the phone just tore me apart, you don't deserve it. You're like, the most amazing girl in the entire world and I wish I could be more like you. No words can describe how important you are to me. You're my best friend and I loves you like crazy girl!

~ Amy xox

Dear Matt,

um, you left your jaffa cakes here. imma eat them. 'cos i love you.

~ Amy

Dear Cav,

I changed my username for you so don't screw up tomorrow. Just don't even think about it. I don't care that you've got bronchitis and I don't care that you've lost Renshaw. Man up. ^^; Also, do me a favour and go after some of the intermediate sprint points? Idgaff that it's not your style man, it'll mean Petacchi doesn't have to finish lower than sixth for you to win. And he's just not gonna do that so you have to get some intermediate points!

But whatever happens tomorrow, I still think you're absolutely amazing and you've made me love a weirdo sport.

Love Alex.

~~~

Dear Shleck,

Next year.

Love Alex.

Dear Genetic History and Body,

Please stop freaking me out. Every couple of days now, I have an "ohmygodifuckinghaveMSlikegranny" freak. STOP SHOWING THE SYMPTOMS.

Regular brain service will resume if, and when, you do.

Kinsman.

Dear Griffin and Steven,

You're both jackasses.

Have fun,
Jazz

~~~

Dear Sam,

You're really awkward. Not in a funny way either. Fix it, please?

Jazz

P.S. You're cute and smell amazing, and if you take my advice then find more things to talk about besides lacrosse (LAX!) and the Army (because Navy owns anyway), we'd be a cute couple. Until then, please stop chasing me.

~~~

Dear Dolphin,

Yes, I'm aware your first name is Alex, but I like your last name better; you don't look like an Alex—not that you look like a dolphin or anything. Anyway, you're super tall, you have a cute face, we have pretty damn similar interests, and you like to tease me. I met you at Leadership Academy, and I specifically reserved you for my friend Caroline. You two get along, so stop trying to make me fall for you!

I still win,
Jazzy

~~~

Dear Cupid,

FIND ME A CUDDLE BUDDY! Please?

Love,
Jasmine
(PRETTY PLEASE?)

Dear Tre, Billie and Mike,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been pushing you and your beautiful music away. It just upsets me sometimes. You are everything my friends and I are supposed to be even though there can only ever be one Green Day. It makes no sense, but it's true. I miss everything that came along with you three. My friends. Happiness. All of it. I'll always love you guys and I'll always need you. I just can't listen to you right now. It hurts and I don't know what to do.

-eileen.

Dear asdfjkl,

I don't know why I'm doing whatever you want me to do.
I wouldn't ever do those things with anyone else, under any circumstances.
You're probably taking advantage of me, but...
I just can't seem to think straight when I'm talking to you.

I still can't believe that you talked to me.
That you asked me to-
I can't believe that I almost said yes.
That I almost did that.

It's my own fault that I started liking you anyway.
It's not like you don't go through a girlfriend a week, so why should I think that you might finally want to start something serious?
And with me?
It's not like you like me for who I am, more like for what I look like, and what I'm willing to do.

Why are you asking me to do these things?
Why am I spending time talking to you, even though I know you only want me on a physical level?
Why am I being such an idiot?
Why can't I see that no matter how hard I try, this is going to end badly?
Why?

I'd rather you break my heart sooner than later.
Tomorrow would be nice.
Then, maybe I'll finally be over you.

x.

Jake,
Erm, please stop judging. Please stop telling me you're glad I'm happy and then telling me it's such a shame. I'm fine. End of. I'm more than fine.
Yours,
Kirsty.