Dear Devon,
I'm realizing that I'm going to have to accept my anger at you as something that is manageable, but may indeed be a fairly long-term emotion. You are a child. You're depressive, immature, arrogant, and spiteful; though you advocate for the opposite and claim that I am the one acting impulsive. I listened to you for a long time, but now it's clear to me: you're wrong. Each conversation we have consists of you saying something spiteful and just god damned cruel, trying to cause hurt. And then you go back behind your "introverted shell," gather your mob of people who will "protect" you, and act like the universe has just decided to conspire against you. I know it's not your fault. Yes, I know honey. It's your step-grandmother. You say certain words; have certain beliefs, and I know they are the ones she planted in you. My mom did this to me: I would root for her twisted lies so much that I actually made myself believe what she believed. And yours has taught you to deal with these problems by being immature, sneaky, irresponsible, for selfish gain rather than resolution... You are a child. You have no idea, yet, what it means to be an adult. I don't know if you ever will, or if it will take some time being independent. I feel sad for you, knowing you don't have the ability to resolve your conflicts with me and Tim. You'll learn. You'll learn that if you truly want to solve the issue, you will be mature and open, not fickle with your jaws. I am no longer indebted to you. I am angry at you, and that's okay.
But I never have a day during which I don't wish I could help.
Much love.
Katrina.
January 20th, 2013 at 06:37pm