‘… Nothing was found, except yourself – in an unconscious condition.’
The panther shrugged. ‘Well, what do you expect when a building falls on me? That I’d be dancing a mazurka in the ruins?’
—Nathaniel and Bartimaeus, Golem’s Eye; Jonathan Stroud.
This huge one:
‘In the absence of other evidence, blame will fall on you as the cause of all this devastation, unless you can give us information to the contrary.’
‘What?’ The panther’s eyes widened in outrage. ‘You’re blaming ME? After what I’ve suffered? My essence is one big bruise, I tell you! I’ve got bruises where bruises don’t ought to be!’
‘So then,’ Nathaniel said, ‘what caused it?’
‘What caused the building to collapse?’
‘Yes.’
‘You want to know what caused all the devastation last night and disappeared from right under your noses?’
‘That’s right.’
‘So you’re asking me for the identity of the creature that arrives as if from nowhere, departs again unseen and, while it’s here, wraps a cloak of blackness around it to protect it from the vision of spirit, human or animal, on this and every other plane? That’s seriously what you’re asking?’
Nathaniel’s heart had sunk down into his boots. ‘… Yes.’
‘That’s easy. It’s a golem.’
—Nathaniel and Bartimaeus, Golem’s Eye; Jonathan Stroud.
You seem very confident about your facts,’ the panther remarked, yawning loudly and displaying an impressive set of teeth. ‘It’s true that the parchments disintegrate when they are removed from the golem’s mouth. And by the terms of the spell, the monster must then return to its master and subside back into clay, so the body doesn’t survive either. But the golem’s eye is not destroyed. It can be used many times. So there may well be one here, in modern London. Why are you so yellow?’
—Bartimaeus, Golem’s Eye; Jonathan Stroud.
And the last one:
The panther swished its tail. ‘Hey, we’ve all got problems, chum. I’m overly talkative. You look like a field of buttercups in a suit.’
—Bartimaeus, Golem’s Eye; Jonathan Stroud.
You have to read the book to understand half of the jokes. :D
December 16th, 2009 at 08:03pm