Am I Weird?

All fathers are pedofiles.

Whenever I see ads/pictures/hear stories of healthy family relationships, I always think that the father is a pedofile. For instance, I saw an ad for a family movie channel today. A daughter was sitting on a couch, and her Dad was sitting next to her with his arm around the chair, smiling down at her. Perfectly normal and healthy...

...Except that I couldn't help thinking, "Dirty pedofile, I bet he's thinking about how he had his hand roaming all over her body last night." I can't stop doing it. They all look like pedofiles to me.

I let my guy friend grab my boobs, cause he never toutched a boob before.
Yeah, it was awkward.

If I'm going somewhere, like auditioning for something, I imagine myself talking to the cast. I like to make up the conversations and facial expressions.

Also, if I think someone's cute, I'll listen to music and make a music video in my head. I also imagine the different possibilities with said person. What would I say to them? How would I dress? Would he have a cute smile? Would I remember to put on deodorant? That kind of stuff.

I also tend to have these phases where I get obsessed with certain somethings. Like, I go read fanfiction, I watch interviews, I read about the actors. I don't tell anyone, I think it's creepy.

I love to look at gore. Gory movies, gory pictures, gory stories ... I love it. xD I hear that's weird for females.

I read outloud to myself.
I especially like to do this with Shakespeare - somehow, this makes me understand it better.

^ I do that too. Especially with stuff like Dickens, because if you don't pay close attention it's easy to get lost in the long winded syntax. I even find myself putting on all the voices

I tend to plan what I'm going to say to people if there's something I need/want to tell them. Then I end up saying it out loud to myself and people stare.

I hate peanut butter when everyone else loves it. I talk to myself a bit too much. I hate animal obbsesd people and animal movies, espically dog movies that invovle Christmas. I like school. I am bother by everything and can find a flaw in almost anything but Nutella and Jello. I have a love/hate relationship with everything.

i have the exact same problem. i just get these bouts of sadness when i feel so alone and empty inside, whether i'm with people or not, and i just start to cry... i cant help it. the emptiness runs too deep and i cant stop it when it consumes me. i have everything i could ever want, a lovely family that loves and supports me, i have so many friends that its ridiculous, i have God, i have money, clothes food etc and yet it all just amounts to nothing when i'm faced with all this confusion and sadness. i make more friends, i join more clubs than anyone i know, i try to be a nice person and have made myself the biggest pushover and people pleaser on this earth, i try to be perfect for my parents, i'm a teacher's pet, i'm an active member of my church...i'm the perfect daughter, perfect student, perfect friend, perfect sister, perfect everything. no matter what i ever seem to do, its not enough to feel up this void. everyone thinks i'm perfect and i let them think that because its better for them to see that than what i really am once i take off all those faces...which is nothing. verone thinks i have it all figured out and that i am the happiest person on earth. thats why all my friends love me, becuase i'm the only one who laughs at their silly jokes. i'm known as giggles coz i'm always laughing, well at least thats what they think...its so hard living up to the perfect demeanor i created. but i cant discard it becuase i dont know who i am without it. i'm afraid to let it go. i'm afraid to be anything or anyone else. its so hard to live everyday with this burden on my shoulders and i cant tell anyone about this. what will they say? what will they think of me now once they see all the imperfections and all the lies? once they glimpse the sadness and the vulnerability? all i have is god and myself. it hurts so much. its like a knife that keeps going deeper in with every passing day.
help me? how can i fix myself? i'm so good at fixing other people, what about me? i am deathly afraid of failing people and failure in general, and i'm afriad of rejection and that no one will ever really love me, because they'll nevr really know who i am because i dont even know who i am and i cant let people in. i have major trust issues....wow i'm sorry for this. it just feels so good to vent.

i know what you mean, i have trust issues too thats why i created this, to vent and be me even id only for a moment. if you want someone to talk to i can be here if you want i dont want you to feel like this even though we don't know each other. having someone listen to you might be all that you need. but i've looked it up and this is a serious proble that there is no cure to.

I tell myself to stop talking to myself in my head.
Than I reply and tell myself that I'm not, this is my inside voice. GUH. xD

I often imagine like, chaos and disaster happening. Everytime I get on the bus to go home, I imagine our horses are all out on the road, or I'll imagine someone robbing our house. It's not paranoia because I don't panic or really believe it's gunna happen, I just think about it a lot. o_o

If I go on a public bus, I don't like sitting in a seat where a stranger can sit behind me. I always sit with my back to the window or from an angle that I can see everyone else. I don't know why, but it bothers me.

Also, I don't like those conjoined busses. I'm terrifed that they second half would split off and just roll away. That's why I never sit in the back half.

I hold pencils in a weird way. My fingers end up holding the tip almost, so those squishy finger rests never do anything for me. I've gotten too used to writing like this so I can't hold the pencil from any higher anymore.

I hate pain but i want a master to control me and put me in my place.

I have imaginary arguments with other people when nobody's in the house with me.

I also narrate and read aloud my stories.

I can't stand it when people sit behind me on the bus. I think they're going to pull out a gun and shoot me in the back of the head. Yeah, stupid right? But I can't help it. If I can't sit at the back of the bus, then I have a little freak-out inside.

I have this cupboard in my room, and the catch on the door is broken so it doesn't close. I have to push a cushion in front of it to keep it shut, or else I can't sleep. I'm such a baby :/

I imagine stories in my head, like little movies. But with fictional characters, I'm never in them. But I never write them down, they're like separate from the things I write.

I talk to my conscience all the time. Like, I really have conversations with it.

Sometimes I feel the urge to HAVE to do something. Like, if I want my biggest wish to come true, I have to run around the house once before the microwave turns to zero. Or I have to use two pumps of handsoap instead of one. It's hard to explain, but it's weird.

I live my life as if it was a book and play out the narration in my head. Like, "I was on the bus to go to school, a place where I didn't really want to be right now, and stared out the window," for when I'm riding the bus.

coward.:

I talk to my conscience all the time. Like, I really have conversations with it.

Sometimes I feel the urge to HAVE to do something. Like, if I want my biggest wish to come true, I have to run around the house once before the microwave turns to zero. Or I have to use two pumps of handsoap instead of one. It's hard to explain, but it's weird.

I live my life as if it was a book and play out the narration in my head. Like, "I was on the bus to go to school, a place where I didn't really want to be right now, and stared out the window," for when I'm riding the bus.

when it's 11:11, i have to make a wish, and i can't just say "i wish for.." i have to say my wish repeatedly, until it's 11:12.

I don't like my friends but I don't want to not be friends with them because I hate making people sad.

^It's kind of the same for me, except I know that if I just left them alone, they wouldn't be sad at all. It's just a charade they put on. It's your happiness before theirs, really.

When I'm applying my deodorant, I have to put an even number, usually eight swipes.
I'm too paranoid for my own good, and if I'm walking on campus alone, I'll take out my cell and pretend to talk someone.
I don't like having my back to open spaces or people. I have to look at my silverware before I use it. I'm always thinking negative, and if I'm looking at something active (the tele, a bird flying, people in the park, cars driving, etc.) I'll imagaine the worst thing that could happen in that moment.

I'm friends with people on facebook that I don't even like..

Kevin Gnapoor:

All fathers are pedofiles.

Whenever I see ads/pictures/hear stories of healthy family relationships, I always think that the father is a pedofile. For instance, I saw an ad for a family movie channel today. A daughter was sitting on a couch, and her Dad was sitting next to her with his arm around the chair, smiling down at her. Perfectly normal and healthy...

...Except that I couldn't help thinking, "Dirty pedofile, I bet he's thinking about how he had his hand roaming all over her body last night." I can't stop doing it. They all look like pedofiles to me.

Oh my goodness.
I thought I was the only one. I'm not even kidding.
It has me terrified of going over friend's houses most of the time, because I keep thinking, "What if their dad is creepy? What if he looks at me weird?" and so on. Agh. Sheesh.

On another note, people are always trying to make me feel weird about how much I talk to my cat, and how my voice sounds while I do it. But uh, I know for a fact other people do it. So. Haha.

Something else... nearly every time I look in the mirror, I say certain things just to see how my face looks when I say them. It's weird, but... yeah.