I love music and often times I rely on it to keep my sanity, literally. I find reasons to make it apart of my everyday life, and due to the vast amount of sound/clip files I have stored in my own personal library, my mind, I can bring up whatever I feel is necessary for the moment.
Music, has always been there to comfort me, it's been the one thing in my life I can count on to be there when I need it, no matter what, and music has saved my life. In more ways than one.
I have Aspergers, this will and has caused me a certain degree of anxiety, depression, social problems, and irrational need of solitude. When I get anxiety ridden the only thing that can calm, comfort, and soothe me is music. When I got deeply depressed at a young age (8 years), I was inconsolable by my family and had come close to suicide.
The song, Who I am Hates Who I've Been by Reliant K, was on of few that serenaded me, that spoke to me, and got me thinking more clearly. In-order to relate to the music I so idolize and love, I'd have to live. And I'd have to turn myself into someone who could hate that depression, someone who could resist the temptation to wallow around in self pity and desolate thoughts.
So far, I've done relatively well, I've carried with me a few thoughts, coping habits, and mannerisms from that time, and I do occasionally slip back into my old ways for short periods of time, but other than that I've stayed 'clean and sober'.
Because of my previously mentioned experience, love of logical and psychological information, and poor social skills I often found myself comforting others with similar mental downfalls. I've been able to talk down many cutters, and those that were depressed or suicidal, though, I've also discovered that some simply refuse to be helped or reasoned with.
I listen to a relatively varied array of bands; examples: Simple Plan, Brokencyde, Saliva, Three Days Grace, SR-71, Bowling For Soup, Limp Bizkit, Say Anything, Reliant K, 10 Years, Papa Roach, Rehab, Gym Class Heroes, Miranda Lambert, and the list goes on, until it ends, that is.
August 4th, 2011 at 03:09am