Human Flaws

wow, I have so many flaws I don't even know how to begin.
I am borderline, bulimic, I have no goals in life, I cut myself, I have a love/hate relationship with everyone, I drink until I pass out, I snort prescription pills...

I have a whiplash temper that's vey difficult to control.
I always think I'm never going to be good enough to please my family.
I'm honest to the point of always hurting people's feelings because I don't sugarcoat anything.
I refuse to be controlled in anything, even if what I want to do ill get me hurt physically/mentally.

I think it's that I crave a loving relationship and am to willing to give everyone else what they want so that maybe they will love me

I have the tendency to overthink at times. Sometimes I exaggerate things and downplay things when I shouldn't.

I have a horrible fear of not being good enough. I guess I'm a perfectionist at times.

I'm a bitch.
I'm grouchy and stressy and can never tolerate anyone because I'm so freaking selfish.
I fuck everything up because I say the wrong things at the wrong time in the wrong place.
I make my friends feel like shit because I feel like I should be at the centre of the universe, then complain when they leave because our relationships are toxic.
The world around me changed, so I changed too. And as a result, I turned everyone against me.
I don't deserve these people. I realise that now.

I'm selfish and needy.
I'm sensitive and overemotional.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
I'm stubborn and strong-willed.
I'm not that innocent girl I used to be.
I'm a little screwed up in the head.

i overthink everything.
i have trust issues from hell.
i'm self-conscious about how i look.
i'm scary without my medication.
i don't sleep for days at a time.

I'm self-righteous.
I procrastinate a lot.
I find it difficult to admit I've made a mistake.
I'm easily distracted.

I'm very unforgiving.
I'm never sure when I've insulted someone.
I tend to make stupid mistakes and get worked up over them.
I'm overly judgemental of people's intelligence and common sense.

I have jealousy issues.
I procrastinate.
I have a horrible temper.
I'm lazy.

I procrastinate all the time.
I can be active when someone else is depending on me, but terribly lazy when it comes to things concerning myself.
I can have quite a temper.
Some may think this is a flaw, but I tend to make sure to please everyone and make sure they're happy even if it makes me terribly unhappy.
When it comes to certain people, I have severe trust issues.

I'm stubborn.
I have that spitfire temper *sigh*.
I'm extremely Type A when it comes to work and writing.
I'm really bad about holding grudges.
I can be kind of distant in relationships.

I'm supposed to list my flaws...like right here? Okay then, I'll list a few...

Impatient
Needy
I procrastinate a ton.
I'm not very social.
I have low self confidence.
I can be quite childish.

I'm a chronic procrastinator.
My anxiety levels are often through the roof.
I stress to no end over everything.
I can be terribly vengeful.

I have trust issues, because I've had my trust broken so often in the past (either that or I just trust the wrong people)
I am incredibly cold-hearted sometimes.
I shut my friends and all of my relationships out when I need space.
I look down on certain groups of people more than I should.
I worry too much over looking like a bad person.

I am weak.
I am pathetic.
That's just me.

Also, I write a lot.
Which can backfire.

Because sometimes my words just don't want to be heard,
And I break up whenever my scars are seen.

I trust too easily.
I let people know me too much.
And when I try to show them,
How much I know them.

How much I care,
How much I understand.

They push me away,
Backfired. Again.

They break me in two.
Without realising.

I think about cutting again.
But then I think of my family.

And I say to myself, "Fuck no!"
Not this time.

Never again.

Though I am weak,
Which is why I am pathetic.

And why I can't trust myself.

And why I trust others too much.

Telling them everything about me.

Letting them burn my wings for trying to understand.

Never having the voice to shout, "STOP!"

Never having the guts to say, "What is wrong with you?"

But they can say it to me.

And that's fine.

No, it really isn't.

It is not fine.

And it never will be.

But I can't stop it.

I can't.

And I won't.

Because I care too much.
And I know what it is to be hurt.

So why would I hurt them?
Again...

I wouldn't.

But they think I do these things to hurt them.

I don't.

They still won't believe me.

They won't.

I can't blame them.

Because I AM weak.

And pathetic I AM too.

I always will be.

I have a short temper.
With that short temper, I tend to verbally/physically bring people down.
I'm waaay bitchy.
And yet, I also like to please people.

I get obsessed.
I cry over silly things.
I'm horrible at budgeting and saving money.
It's hard to deal with confrontation in real life.
I lie.
I flip out when plans change last minute.
I'm a little codependent.

I have a terrible temper
I stupid crazy when I'm fucking angry
I hate things too easily and hate them with a fiery passion.
I'm too full of anger and hate...and hide it behind this stupid happy ass façade.
I sometimes still hear voices in my fucking head, and I never tell anyone because I think that shit is a big fucking no.
As we speak I'm fucking angry...

I am too angry.

I'm a very conflicted person.
I don't trust easily.
I'm very particular about everything.