What Are the Things You Wanted to Say But Couldn't?

I really, really hate you. I don't plan on having any kind of contact with you when I move out.

Thanks for the pain of taking away not one, but two of my loves. Thank you for never being on my side and never liking me happy. Thanks for letting them abuse me and thanks for putting me last at everything. You really fucked me up. Love, your daughter. Oh and by the way, you're the reason I used to cut myself. Yea that shit on my arm is razor scars. -.-

Hey Lee adivina que...
Hoy me estaba quedando dormido a la 12 am y me desplaze a ese dia... en que mis manos jugeteaban por tu cuerpo como se sentia tu cuerpo contra el mio, como mis torpes labios buscaban los tuyos en la oscuridad, entonces algo mas paso te dije te amo y en eso se ensendio la luz, estabamos en un cuarto blanco totalmente deslumbrante y te levantaste de mi lado y dijiste no vuelvas a hablarme jamas... saliste por la unica puerta y al cerrarse detras de ti se volvio una ventana hacia lo que es y estabas abrazada con Omar ... me dijiste hasta nunca, te dije hasta siempre y enotnces desperte... 1:11 am....FUCK no que estoy haciendo tu aroma, tus abrazos, tus besos, tu sonrisa, esos detalles que me volvian loco bien! porque ahora? se supone que estoy tratando de hacerte un favor alejandome un poco de tu vida, porque no soy con quien quieres compartirla pero porque este deseo de solo besarte una vez mas, de pasar un dia como nunca lo pasamos antes... solo tu y yo... ahora no puedo dodmir porque temo so~narlo denuevo...

"I said no."

"Don't touch me."

"Don't let me drink vodka, ever, no matter what I say."

"I love you sooo much, and I can't imagine what life is going to be like without you. I hope this doesn't cause you any guilt, because that's that last thing I want. I just want you to know that I'll miss you, every day, forever... Goodbye Daddy."

"Stop telling me all these things about her. I can't handle it."

"This isn't going to work."

"I quit this band"

"I want to go back to England"

"I've been wondering what could have been a lot more than I would like, and I feel silly thinking that. Despite the fact that you told me that you also had been wondering about what could have been between us (however long ago that was now), I just don't think you feel the same way, but even if you did, I know it'd never work out, because I wasted all my money on drugs and may actually never even see you again..."

"I want to get the old band back together. Who's in?"

Estoy feliz de averte conocido... de aver cruzado caminos... me diste una felicidad que creia perdida... no importa lo que allas leido sabia que lo arias algun dia...todo lo doy apesar de que no lo quieras... tu fiesta organizo y muevo mareas... pero a ella no ire porque solo tristesas te diera...por mas que quiera verte feliz... espero no lo leas... jajajaja... mas vale que no faltes a tu propia fiesta!!! seria un desperdicio de sorpresa...!! =D

ME: "I miss you, Matt"

MATT: 'wth'

when you asked me if i liked him, i only said no because i knew you wouldn't have been asking if you didn't like him. when he came and talked to us everytime after church i thought he was talking to us because of me...but i should have known. you have always been the pretty one, the one that always has a boy who likes you, the one that wraps them around your finger as effortlessly as a strand of hair.

i've been through alot of hard times with myself, and i still struggle. sometimes i hate myself so much, i don't want to live. sometimes i just am so disgusted with my ugly, that i can't remember the good, the beauty that i have.

i am not stupid. i am not a froufrou, silly girl like all the other girls....i am froufrou and silly in my own way. i don't have the generic girl handwriting. i don't have the flauntless body or wear bikinis at the beach every summer, but atleast i am not stupid in the sense of like and love, only just a little inexperienced and immature with some aspects of it.

don't get me wrong, i love you always and you will always will be one of my most prized friends. you make me laugh and you're fun to be around, and i am glad you're learning, and i have seen you mature alot over the past few years. i am also glad and him are just friends now.

me and gary were tired of having to babysit you too...and tired of your bipolar "love."

And besides...my brother's dirty bathroom is definitely not the ideal place for a first kiss.

i always wanted to ask you why you "loved" or "liked" him. i always felt you wouldn't have been able to give me a real answer.

just remember that i am the one who sat underneath a tree with him while he cried over you.
just remember that i am his best friend now.

and i am glad i didn't really like him like that, or the feeling wore off. because we have an awesome friendship and it's real and i couldn't imagine anything better.

i am happy with being just friends with him (and you). we don't need any of the other crap intruding...like silly infatuation....to get between our friendships.

I'd tell my ex-gf I still love her & want to be with her again.. Only she's got a boyfriend now, & she clearly loves him. So it'd never work. All the words in the world wouldn't matter.

Don't ask me if I will forgive you anymore. I won't forgive you until you save yourself from yourself. I don't care how hard you're fighting it because in the end you always lose. I don't hate you, I hate how you have no idea how hard this has been on me. You don't have to worry about anyone knowing, I'm burying it in my grave. That's a promise.

I LOVE YOU!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!
wait.. this don`t belong here jajaja any way.. =D
I LOVE YOU!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Mutant and proud!! =P

"Jesus, shut up. Quit yelling at Mike. You aren't that great either, so why are you snapping at him? It's gym class, not the freaking Olympics."

"Stop making fun of me. Nobody thinks it's funny but you and I've wished you dead innummerable times. What did I ever do to you?"

"Mom and Dad, I'm a lesbian."

"I know you don't usually go for girls, but...you said I'm the only person you've ever been in love with. Please, please give me a chance. I promise I will be a perfect girlfriend and do anything you ask of me. This could be great. Please, love, give me a chance..."

"Abby, can't you let me have just this one guy. A chance maybe? Because with your flat chest and skinny ass in the way, he doesn't see me standing there, staring."

"Dad, get off your sorry bumm and do it yourself. I'm so sick of doing your crap around the house when you could easily do it in seconds. I've been doing that for 7 years, and I'm only 13. I'm not doing it for another 6."

"I'm done. Where's the exit?"

"You're so fake that it makes clowns look like normal people. You're a terrible influence and an awful friend, get the hell out of my life."

"I've given all of the advice and guidance I can give you. Where's my help? Where's my shoulder to cry on? This is the last advice you'll get from me: Don't end up six feet under, smothered, dead, like me."

"Oh, well, you know what I did yesterday? Cried myself to sleep, trying to ignore my parent's argument and my little brother's screaming. Thought about how ugly my face looks. Remembered that it's 6 years until I'll be prettier, not living with my mom and dad, free to come and go as I please. 6 whole years until I don't have to go to school and hear the taunts, the yelling, the drama. 6 whole years until my fear that I won't make it past 16 is gone. 6 more years until I can quit wishing my dad would keel over.You know what else I did? Tried to stay alive, knowing you'd have something to cry about the next day. When i'm gone, who's shoulder do you cry on?"

The only reason I cannot say these things is that I'm much to proud to ask Abby to back off, and suicide is like giving up. I. Don't. Ever. Give. Up. I can quit, but that's like admitting defeat as well.

"He is more corrupt than you give him credit for."

I want to tell Keanan that I really really really really really like him.
I want to tell Manuel that I want to get shitfaced with him all the time.
I want to tell Anthony that we should be friends.
I want to tell my mom that she is too controlling.
I want to tell my dad that his alcoholism hurts.
I want to tell Keanan that I love his taste in music.
I want to tell Erin that I'm not gay
I want to tell someone that I just want love.
I want to tell the world to fuck off.

I want to say what's been going on in my head and that I really don't know what to do about it except keep hoping I can stop being so babyish.

I want to say what's REALLY on my mind.
I want to tell my parents that I'm depressed.
I want to tell the guy I love that I love him.
I want to tell my best friend that I feel like I'm losing her.
I want to let my dad know that I'm scared of him.
I want to cry out for help 'cause I'm so freaking messed up in my head.
I want to tell a lot of people a lot of things, but I probably never will.

Please just always be there for me, please?

I know you wish I was a boy, me too.

Ok today was a weird talk with Ileana jajaja... and yeah same shit as other times.... self esteem and to love myself and mmm go to a physiologist that I had serious problems of mm something I don´t remember jajaja and yeah am not going again.... the one from Utep didn´t do anigthing.... mmm what else, I guess I just want to spend the time we had left together and if it´s forever .... :3 jajajaja not joking >= I lol well ... guess what ... someon has been reading to all my posts and stories and yeah.... I never though that my life was interesting XD
what Else what else... I´m dying to cuddle with you once more.... and I can´t wait to start planing going to Ruidoso for the weekend....

A- I wish I could open up to you. I make excuses as to why I can't : "You don't take things seriously." "You just wouldn't get it.". Truthfully, I'm just afraid of being hurt or laughed at. I'm too much of a coward to open up. Honesty is for brave people. I'm not one of them people.

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J- I will never forgive you for what you did to me. I was a child. I was young, naive - I trusted you, and look what you did. I have so many memories of what happened, painful ones that I just can't seem to be rid of. When I look at you, when I laugh with you, I'm being sincere - I do enjoy you, you're my family. But I will never forget.

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E- I appreciate everything you do for me, but you were never understanding. You just didn't know how to deal with a child's/teenagers problems. I'm sorry... but you contributed to it all.

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N- I hate you.

Hey, listen... Guess you didn´t notice it right... but I wasn´t smiling this morning when I was ... you know... doing that...
It´s because it was on propose, the only stupid idea that I had at that moment... I didn´t want to stop hugging you, and then an Idea.... push you a little away.... make you think that I´m bad for you right now... and then order you thoughts thinking of me like if I was trash or something... how stupid it was?!!!
that´s the only thing that regret from this two days...