What Are the Things You Wanted to Say But Couldn't?

I wish you could understand how much you hurt me.

You have no idea how much you hurt me and it astounds me I'm founding out what kind of person you really all after all this time. You took everything from me and fucking stomped on it while you laughed with no remorse. I have no clue what's going on in your head but I can't keep up. You are awful and cruel, you led me to believe you were something good but you just dragged me down. You've made me cry more than I count, you humiliated me all for one fucking thing, and congrats you got. I hope it was real fucking worth it, because I'm slowly realizing you're NOT. You're not worth the pain, the tears, the confusion, nothing. You are glass to me. You said you didn't want to pull me along, it's been SIX fucking months, what do you call that? And all I can still ask myself is why? You have so many people you can mess with, yet you chose to fuck with me constantly. Why? What the fuck did I ever do to you? I'm so over crying over you, wanting you come to back, when we never were even together. All I was to you was something fun then once you got your fill, you were bored. Did it ever occur to you how would that affect me? Do you not understand how you totally fucked my mind up? Now I'll never trust anyone the same. I closed my heart off for so long and finally when I do give someone a chance, this is how I get repaid. All I did was care for you, fucking genuinely care for you and what do I get? I find out from your "Friends" how you only wanted to sleep with me. You don't even fucking deserve to KNOW me. One day, one day I PROMISE you, you will realize how much of a dick you were to me and how stupid you were to let someone like me go. Because you missed out on a very special person, and while you may not see that, your friends do. Karma is going to serve you right for fucking me over when I did absolutely nothing.

I knew I shouldn't have said how I truly felt. You opened up things inside me I never did with another person, then you treat me like shit for it underneath it all. Why couldn't you have just left me alone in the beginning? Why did you have to come into my life and turn it upside down? Why can't I just forget you and move on, why do you have to linger in my thoughts 24/7. I hate you right now, I hate everything about you. You are not nice and you honestly just used me. How could you? You don't deserve my virginity, I seriously wish I never met you right now. But let's make one thing real crystal fucking clear, you may have my virginity, but NOT my dignity you got that? I may have been stupid for letting you play me this long, but you can believe I will NEVER beg you back. Just remember one day if you ever think about wishing you had someone who cared, remember YOU let her go. And I sincerely hope no one ever hurts you the way you have hurt me.

I want to tell someone that I'm not okay, that I haven't been for a long time & that I don't know when I will be okay again. But then they'd know that I'm not "normal" and that all of this is just a facade..

There is a lot I would want to say, but this is one thing I want to say right now more than ever.

You've trapped me in a world of depression. I only have two options now and both options terrify me. I hate you.

I want to tell my "ex" how much I miss him and that I still adore him even though he broke every promise he made to me. And that I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong.

I want to tell an old friend that sometimes people change, and mature and learn new things. I didn't mean to let certain life experiences get in between us but I miss you like hell and I want to fix everything.

Well, I really want to tell.. I really don't know what he is to me- how I feel about him. He's great and all, one of my best friends, but sometimes he's a complete jerk. Sometimes I want to tell him to fuck off and get out of my life, but sometimes I don't know what I'd do without him. I don't think I like like him, but I don't think I can really do anything with out him around. But, like I said, sometimes I just want to scream at him to get out of my life. I wish I can tell him that. But I can't.

Be with me. I'm not perfect. But I've been doing everything I can to work on what I can change. You love me. You know I love you to death.

Be with me.

It's okay if you like me, I don't mind. We've been like brother and sister forever so I don't see the need for you to be nervous all of a sudden when you talk to me. I haven't told you this, but I really like you too.

"Hi I'm Gary and it's wonderful to meet you, I'd LOVE for you to hire me because I've been trying and failing to get a job for the last 3 years and you assholes out there seem to hate me even though my CV is 50x better than anyone who's currently working for you".

I'd LOVE to just be given a chance. >_<

Ugh! I just wish I could say Hi! Offline I'm a complete shy freak, well in less I'm mad:) Sometime's I can manage a conversation as long as I don't start it other why's I'd be a hermit living under a rock: ( So sad I know! Thank Gosh I know some talkative people! So yes I wish I could say Hi first..

I wish I could tell my ex-friend Davie no. And I also wish I could tell my other friends about it. But I can't.

Sometimes I feel like to everyone I am just a fill-in, that there is something or someone not in their life and they use me to fill in that void. Until there comes a time, where they find that something better. They need me and I need them, but I feel lost sometimes because it is when I begin to rely on them is when they leave. I love all the experiences I have had and the roles that I have been, I just want to know that for once something I have is something that I have because of who I am and my skills. Not because I am the only option left willing.

i wanna tell my teahcers to go fuck them selfs because no one cares...not even the one's that 'like' them.

I wish you could understand that me wanting distance isn't because of our relationship or how you make me feel, it's because I genuinely like being by myself and sometimes, I just want Alex time. But it doesn't mean I like you any less. Because it doesn't.

I wanna tell everyone to fuck off and let me do what I want for now. I will gradually get back into doing stuff. I don't need any damn medication or counseling. I also would like the support in my dream jobs instead laughing and saying I would never make it. That doesn't help me none at all and I give up again.

I would also like to tell the guy I like that I like him. That I always have liked him. I also wish that he would talk to me more.

I wanted to tell her that I hated her for what she did to me, but I managed to accept her back into my life & be civil about who we've become after our fallout.

I wanted to tell him how much he hurt me bc of the things he says to me & how he treats me (which is worse than he treats others) + the fact that I was basically in love with him & he knew didn't help.

I want to tell you everything about me, and let you in completely, but I can't.
And I wish I could explain to you that yes, I don't 100% trust you -- but not in the ways that matter right this very moment.
I wish I had the guts to have an in depth conversation and explain all the questions.

I wanted to tell you to get your head out of that love cloud and remember that I still exist; that I’m your best friend. I wanted to be there for you so much, but you wouldn’t just leave him alone for two bloody hours so we could catch up. I hate you for that. You meant so much to me for more than nine years, but as soon as you fell in love I was nothing to you - nothing but a prop. I did what you wanted - I met him. Didn’t change anything though, did it? Was the real reason you couldn’t find the courage to ask me to be your bridesmaid then because you felt guilty? Was the real reason your mother invited me to your engagement party because you didn’t want me there?

You broke my heart. There, I said it. I hope you’re happy without me, but I wonder if you even think about me at all any more. I wish I could have screamed and shouted all of this to you. It has got me wondering: would it have changed anything? I wish that you could have been more straight with me. I’m not psychic.

I loved you. I wish you were in my life before you died, however. I wish you had raised me. Or at least had took an interest in raising me. But you didn’t. So, sometimes I feel conflicted on whether or not I should be this torn up that you’re gone since really you were a stranger. And since really for most of my life your actions said you didn’t really give a shit about me. I was your daughter, but you treated me like a thought in passing or when you remembered my existence. I wish you had been more of a father to me. I get mad at you. But then I remember that your relationship with my younger half sister (the one you did raise) wasn’t the type of father-daughter relationship that I wanted, either. And that’s when it hit me: I had high expectations. High expectations of you. But where were those high expectations of myself? I didn’t stop by to see you and Trinity every day even though I was only thirty minutes away and had the gas and money to do it. I didn’t call you every night even though I had a phone and your number. I never sent a text. I never asked you if we could meet up and hang out. I didn’t do shit. I have to hold myself accountable. Sure, when I was younger it was easy to blame you for the lack of our relationship. But once I got older it became a two way street. I never thought you would die before I had a chance to really establish a relationship with you. I wish sometimes I would have came to your house that night. That I would have called you first and said, “Dad. Can I come over?”. I wish I would have taken your offer and spent the night. But even then I knew it wasn’t going to be perfect. I knew that. Then why am I holding you to this standard? I won’t anymore. Because we’re all unperfect. Me. You. I know you did the best you could. It meant so much to me, however, to hear you care. Even now it breaks my fucking heart to realize that you did. The last time I saw you that Christmas I was too fucking shy to go and sit with you at the table. I should have sat with you. I WANTED to. I just wanted to be around you. I just wanted you to love me. I just wanted to love you. Because despite all of that shit you were my dad and I held you on the same pedestal that I hold my mom (even though you weren’t in my life). Which means I can say I hate you or despise you but in the end I can never really because deep down I really love you. I know you didn’t want me. That I was just a accident baby. But I also know that you still cared about and loved all four of us. Miss you. Wish you were here. Wish you didn’t have to die. Wish I could have helped your financial situation. Wish you could see Armani play at NSU and become a Kappa like you. Wish you could be proud of me. Wish I could make you proud. Wish a whole lot of things. I’m still torn up. I wish you knew that I still think about you and that I won’t ever let your memory go. And also I know how much of a player you were, Dad lol. Ladies man lmbo. You went out in the best way possible lol. But if one of those women (even Faith, sorry Dad) did something to you, I want to find out. If you were taken away from me too soon, then I want to know. I know you changed the locks at your house and on the night you died you were supposed to give Grandma a new key to your house the following day. I know that the week before someone poured red paint over Grandpa’s car and that Faith passed out flyers at your job saying you were a cheater. I know that you installed security cameras at the house but you were too broke to pay for the best version so we couldn’t see the footage. I also know that Faith was sending you threatening text messages. I think Faith took my license plates off of my car that week during the time after you died, because I went to the police to try and get them to look into your death. She made the final decision to not have your body a autopsy because she was still technically your wife. If she did something to you or if Felicia (the lady you were with that night) did something to you, I want to know. Grandma didn’t do anything to get your body examined. It was all about the money. But Dad I wish we could have. I still want closure. I know Grandaddy died of a heart related something, too. Maybe it’s just in the family. But still it’s too suspicious. I want you to know, that I will never forget about you. Never. I love you. I’ve always loved you.