Corrupt A Wish!

Granted, but he dies of a freak dancing accident while at prom.

I wish I had more money.

D8 HOMG.

Granted, but they're fake.

I wish I could fly to you ;)

Granted, but you can only fly in a NorthWest direction.

I wish Tim Riggins was mine.

granted, but he will just follow you around and constantly ask you 'what cha doing?'

i wish the person i like will ask me out.

Granted, but them they turn out to be a zombie.

I wish it was Saturday.

Granted, but then Sunday eats it.

I wish I had magical brownies.

Granted, but they have fast acting laxative in them.

I wish I had great hair.

Granted, but hair ninjas come to chop it off.

I wish I could go to Best Buy.

Granted but, Adam Lazzara stabs you whilst you're there :

I wish I could marry Ian Fazzi

Granted, but then he turns out to just sit around in his boxers and watch football and fart a lot.

I wish I didn't have to pay outrageous amounts of money for a decent bra.

Granted, but it will be an ill fit and will be ruined easily.

I wish that I had more books.

Granted, but more books lead to more paper cuts...

I wish I could be happy in my relationship and not be always wanting something else...

Granted, but as soon as you become happy, they become euphoric and begin to stalk you everywhere, leaving you quirky notes and following to your job and popping out behind trash cans wherever you go.

I wish I had a boyfriend. A hot boyfriend.

Granted; you'll have a boyfriend who has very weak antibodies and he will forever have high fevers and will be always in the hospital

I wish I could find the rabbit hole.

(V. witty. )

Granted, but it will be so small that you won't be able to fit in it.

I wish all the news stations were like auto-tune the news.

Granted, but as soon as that happens the electricity turns off.

I wish I had a friend?

Granted, but that friend has cancer and ends up dying. Now your friendless again and fell terribly depressed.

I wish I could sing.

Granted, you can sing, but now you won't be able to hear a thing.

I wish I could have a top hat

Granted, but it doesn't fit at all and is a horrid shade, and you end up returning it.

I wish all forms of chocolate were fat free.

Granted, but they all taste like pooh.

I wish that we were friends again.