LGBT Members?

  • psychotic secrets;

    psychotic secrets; (1400)

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    My name is Megan and I'm going to turn twenty this summer. I guess I'm pansexual? I'm attracted to anyone, it's to the point I hardly notice if they are a boy or girl or anything like that. I used to be a self-proclaimed Bisexual but I realized there is more than just male and just female people. I don't really care about labels, I just love someone for who they are.

    When I came "out" I was shunned to the extreme. My friends didn't want to go near me and refused to even hug me back. I tried to explain to them I didn't like them in that way, but they wouldn't listen.

    Then for a while I was thinking I was asexual because I really cannot see myself being with anyone. Or even doing anything. I find certain people in general very attractive and I think about that stuff but i don't see myself doing it. Because I honestly think its gross.

    I don't even know anymore.
    March 14th, 2013 at 04:59am
  • gh0st-writer

    gh0st-writer (100)

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    @ yuffentine_
    well, no. you can know what you like. i knew i liked girls my entire life, before i even had sex with one. but saying "i'd never have sex with a girl", not "i've never had sex with one" two different things
    March 16th, 2013 at 04:50am
  • kyojin;

    kyojin; (100)

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    Chemical Kid:
    I'm an FtM trans kid. I go by Matt, and I'm also pansexual. I don't believe in traditional gender roles or being attracted to only one gender. I think that anyone can love anyone else but they tend to limit themselves. My community is very judgemental, but no one speaks out and openly against others, which is nice. I came out only a week ago to the entire student body and while I get some odd looks, I feel much better about myself and no one treats me differently.
    First off, good for you! :D I hope everything goes smoothly for you!!

    Now, to my own story:

    I myself am pansexual (and in turn identify as gender fluid as well because, while I enjoy my lovely nothing down below most days, there are those others were I have to wonder how I got trapped in this gawky, awkward body). My own views on gender roles are... mixed at best. I'm completely gender blind to the point where it's almost silly, but at the same time, I find myself wishing men were a little more manly and girls a little more girly. I think it really depends on the person though. I myself go through phases of masculinity and femininity that shift fairly subtly (that's the fluid part) but it's ya'know, whatevs. Hehe.

    What I do think is rather odd/funny/interesting, is I live in a very "red" state, as they call them. Good ole, smack dab in the middle of America, redneck, uber-Christian, Republican Kansas. But, contrarily, I live in Kansas' one and only Democratic county, so while yes, alternative sexuality are no where near gaining equality here, people in my hometown are oddly... unphased by things like who I want to kiss, hold hands with, commit myself to. Sure we've got our wackos (Fred Phelps, anyone? -_-) But for me in particular, people are pretty accepting of me. I've never been called out on it other the usual misunderstand of what exactly a pansexual is (nope, I'm not a slut, and nope, I'm not a self-hating bi. I'm PANSEXUAL.) and generally, people are pretty cool with me. No weird stares. A little awkward eye twitch (yep, eye twitch. kind of a "e_o You're a..? Huh?") when I first mention it maybe but nothing I cant get over with a nervous laugh and a shrug. The weirdest part of this is I go to a private, CATHOLIC school. It's a school of about three hundred and there are at least five other prominent queers at my school, and none of us are bullied or excluded at all by any of our peers (even if some of them might think we shouldn't be allowed to marry- which I don't know if they do or not- honestly I could care less about their opinion of my marriage rights).

    It's really something special I think, when you see progression like my school. Sure, it's a strongly faith based community but that doesn't mean their cant be acceptance and friendship between all walks of life. I still hold the belief that my measly little state will probably be the last to pass a legalization on gay marriage (or cannabis, but that's a whole other can of worms haha), but when I get to experience such acceptance in my community, it gives me hope.

    I'm actually not "out" to my parents, but to be honest, I don't think I should have to be. I don't feel like I'm hiding anything from them, I simply don't think it's any of their business who I love (does that sound bad?) and I want to avoid the drama it will inevitably cause at least until I'm "out of the house" so to speak (which will only be a couple more months!). Neither of my parents are homophobic, per say. My dad simply would rather not know about it. He just thinks someone's sexuality is none of his business and he doesn't want to worry about. He actually thought I was a lesbian (told to me by my mother who he had told) in my early teen years but I was to confused about my sexuality at that point to breach the subject. On the other hand, my mother is a strict Catholic who believes any alternative sexuality than that of the, uh, hetero persuasion, is a sin. She would never promote hate for the LGBT community, but does think it is wrong and that same-sex marriage is acceptable. She knows I have a strong connection to the LGBT community but because of my past denials of my sexuality, she isn't aware of this part of my life. I wouldn't really mind if either of them knew, I just don't feel like I should have to deal with the awkwardness and tense conversations that would ultimately occur if I were to "come out." So I'm just leaving it up to them to figure out on their own. Honestly, it's not the most well kept secret, anyway. Haha.
    March 16th, 2013 at 06:14am
  • awake and alive;

    awake and alive; (100)

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    @ flyingf0xes
    I don't get what you mean... Sorry. Message it to me.

    And good job Matt!
    March 16th, 2013 at 06:30am
  • always infinite

    always infinite (100)

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    @ yuffentine_
    i'm pretty sure what flyingf0xes meant is that there is a difference between saying "i would never have sex with a girl" and saying "i have never had sex with a girl". the first says that you don't want to have sex with girls, whereas the other just says you haven't. big difference.
    @ flyingf0xes
    although i disagree. not wanting to have sex with girls doesn't necessarily mean that you're not a lesbian (or whatever other sexuality). it can really just mean you don't want to have sex with girls. sexuality is really just kinda messy and complicated, and it doesn't really make sense.
    March 16th, 2013 at 07:17pm
  • awake and alive;

    awake and alive; (100)

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    @always infinite
    Ohhh right! And sexuality is messed up. I just simply say 'I like girls.' and I mean I like girls in every single way.
    But I can appreciate a good-looking guy. Weird right? I don't like labels anyway.

    Ugh. As soon as I thought Mum was accepting me, she isn't...
    'You'll grow out of it. You'll like guys.'
    Maybe I will? I've never seen myself with a guy. I can't envision having sex or kissing one. (I mean I've kissed guys before but never really saw the hype)
    March 17th, 2013 at 05:56am
  • savages

    savages (100)

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    GREETINGS FROM MICHIGAN, Y'ALL!

    My name is Sierra & I am very proud to say that I identify as a pansexual (who is questioning her gender for the time being). HERE IS MY STORY.

    To be honest, I thought I was straight for the longest time. I had a lot of boyfriends, and my first kiss was with a boy. But that all changed when I first went into a mental hospital in 7th grade. Now, you're probably wondering, How the Hell did she become aware of her sexuality at age 13 while in the cookoo hut? Yeah, a lot of people think that. Well, it was like...complicated. I saw a boy who walked by my room, and I got butterflies in my stomach and was thinking, "OMG HE'S SOOOOOOO CUTE!" But after I met him, she spoke in a really girly Southern accent and told me her name was Chelsea. Even though she wasn't a boy, I still had those butterflies in my stomach. I still thought she was cute. It sounds crazy af, I know. But I was ill (dealing with MANY mental issues and lots of self-injury), and didn't know what I was, WHO I was. I felt wrong and dirty and scared all at the same time. It somehow felt...right, though.

    As the years went by, I got progressively healthier and came to a good state of mind. I became more aware of myself and the LGBTQ community, and learned of the different gender identities and sexualities available to me. That last statement isn't supposed to sound like, "Oh I call myself pansexual because it's like bisexual only you're attracted to everyone" Even though A LOT of people view it that way, that's not what it meant. ANYways...I still identified as bisexual. I dated girls. I dated boys. I was attracted to both sexes, and I was intimate with both sexes, as well. It wasn't until my Sophomore year in High School that I started to change my views on who I liked. I met a nice, sweet person over tumblr (the name shall be kept private) who was a girl by birth but a boy by fate. We started talking and getting to know each other when the topic of sexuality came up. They asked me if I knew what pansexuality was, and I said that I KNEW of the sexuality, but wasn't completely clear on what it exactly was. So, they told me, and I was just thinking, "Oh, cool. The more you know" So we talked some more, and eventually became what I considered to be close friends. BLAH BLAH BLAH MONTHS PASSED. After a few minutes of talking, they told me how they felt about me, and were wondering if I felt the same way. And I told them, "I don't care if you're a girl by birth and a boy by fate, I'm blind to it. You make me feel so happy and wonderful on the inside, why would I care about your body parts?" And that's when I knew. I finally found something that fit me; something that meshes with who I am. It felt great.
    March 17th, 2013 at 04:42pm
  • maus.

    maus. (400)

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    I'm Lina and I am gay.
    March 17th, 2013 at 07:51pm
  • gh0st-writer

    gh0st-writer (100)

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    @ always infinite
    no, you're right, and maybe i'm just touchy about it as someone who knows they're a lesbian & then i date all these "pansexuals" and "bisexuals" who place the label without understanding anything. when you date enough girls who just are going through a slightly curious phase without knowing what it even means to be gay, you grow weary, ya know?
    March 20th, 2013 at 02:56pm
  • awake and alive;

    awake and alive; (100)

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    @ flyingf0xes
    I used to go on a writing site, not nearly as good as this since it was full of kids (and they weren't even, legally, allowed to go on it) and SO MANY people called themselves 'bisexual'. I know people can find out their sexuality at a young age, but I feel like some of these kids on that site faked it. So yeah I'm weary of bisexuals too.

    My best friend thinks she's bisexual. She's taken quizzes and they say she is. I told her 'just go with how you feel.'. I don't know what else to tell her apart from that.
    March 21st, 2013 at 06:21am
  • always infinite

    always infinite (100)

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    I think it's very unfair to be "weary" of bisexuals/pansexuals. I mean, yes - some people think they are but later realise that they are in fact straight. But why is that so bad? Why is that so terrible? Using people as an experiment is not okay, obviously, but that doesn't mean that every person who isn't either gay or straight is going through a phase and should be seen as "going through a phase".
    March 21st, 2013 at 04:58pm
  • kyojin;

    kyojin; (100)

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    @ always infinite
    I agree with most everything you said but, in her defense, I do see where she's coming from. As a pansexual who was once struggling with her identity, I know I caused some of my partners a lot of pain with my indicisiveness. At first, I really wanted to be straight, because of my religious mother, but then I thought I was a lesbian, then I was bi, then Ithought maybe it really was a phase and I would be straight again, but when that didn't happen, I was just confused and wouldn't date anybody for a long time. I had a boyfriend for a while after that because I felt lonely and was pressured into it, to be honest, but even now, after we broke up I have issues with commitment. I haven't been ablr to commit myself to anyone since I was fourteen. So I know I was a burden on some of my partners and I feel bad for that. I understand the weariness even if I do think it is a little unfair.

    (Sorry about the typos, I'm typing this on my phone...)
    March 21st, 2013 at 05:14pm
  • dreamland.

    dreamland. (100)

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    I think that sexuality is a very fluid thing. It's not set in stone and it never will be. For some, they maybe be straight or gay or bisexual until the day they die, but a lot of people aren't like that.
    I, myself, am panromantic asexual and it took me 3 years to get to that conclusion. I thought I had to be straight for my mother who didn't want anyone in our family who wasn't heterosexual.(I've only told her and my sister, though it's only a secret to my dad. At school, I really don't care who knows..meh) I was terrified to be attracted to girls but I finally accepted it and I'm happy now being what I am, even though I've been told multiple times that my preference isn't real and I'm just using a fancy name for bisexuality. I thought I was bisexual, and then I thought I was a lesbian but those never really fit what I was feeling. Pansexuality didn't really either. I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone
    But even then, I don't think people have to come to a conclusion. You don't have to label what you are. Your sexuality is just that. Yours.
    March 21st, 2013 at 05:16pm
  • Bloodwing

    Bloodwing (150)

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    I read everyone's story and tears just want to well into my eyes. I'm not even completely sure why. I'm just struggling with myself for the first time since I came out (almost 3 years ago.) I really hope no one else is struggling like I am.
    March 22nd, 2013 at 03:01am
  • kyojin;

    kyojin; (100)

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    @ InoShikaCho
    I hope erything works out for you!! I think everyone goes through some sort of struggle at one point or another with their sexuality (even hetero people) so that's why we have an LGBTQ community to help us along and give us council. I'm sure most of the people here would love to help you anyway they can. Like me! I may not know you and we may not be friends but I'd gladly listen to your problems and see if I can help! Just send me a private message if you want to talk, about what you're stuggling with- or anything at all! It doesn't even have to about your sexuality. Any problem you're having at all.

    That goes for all of you who come on this forum. I'll gladly listen to any one's problems and we can talk it out. Just send me a message and I'll answer for sure! No one should have to feel like they're going through this alone. I did that and it sucked and I was really lonely and sad for a long time. I dont want anyone to ever have to feel like that again!
    March 22nd, 2013 at 03:42am
  • Bloodwing

    Bloodwing (150)

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    @ addesin
    Thank you. I really appreciate you saying all of that. I'm usually the person who helps others so it is nice to know that I can go to someone else for help. Thank you so much. <3
    March 23rd, 2013 at 03:25am
  • kyojin;

    kyojin; (100)

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    @ InoShikaCho
    No problem what so ever!! :)
    March 23rd, 2013 at 03:52am
  • gh0st-writer

    gh0st-writer (100)

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    @ always infinite
    i don't actually said i think everyone who is a bisexual or a pansexual is going through a phase? thanks. i believe it can be legitimate, however, it just hasn't proven itself true that often.
    March 25th, 2013 at 03:20am
  • gh0st-writer

    gh0st-writer (100)

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    @ yuffentine_
    i think it can be real. completely. i know older adults who are bisexual. i just hate that it's such a trend now. being gay or bi or pan is just a trend, when it's actually a really important part of someone's life.

    and curiosity is human nature, and i hate when people are curious and jump straight to the LGBT card without even knowing a thing about it.

    i mean, for me, i've been a lesbian since i was born. i kind of questioned for a bit because i had feelings for this boy (who then stopped being kind and everything once i evaded any sexual anything with him) and hid it for so long, but, yeah. i mean, if people are the same way with both genders, then that's just how they are.
    March 25th, 2013 at 03:26am
  • gh0st-writer

    gh0st-writer (100)

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    @ addesin
    thank you so much, like. it means more than you think it does admitting that.
    March 25th, 2013 at 03:27am