- Chemical Kid:
- I'm an FtM trans kid. I go by Matt, and I'm also pansexual. I don't believe in traditional gender roles or being attracted to only one gender. I think that anyone can love anyone else but they tend to limit themselves. My community is very judgemental, but no one speaks out and openly against others, which is nice. I came out only a week ago to the entire student body and while I get some odd looks, I feel much better about myself and no one treats me differently.
First off, good for you! :D I hope everything goes smoothly for you!!
Now, to my own story:
I myself am pansexual (and in turn identify as gender fluid as well because, while I enjoy my lovely nothing down below most days, there are those others were I have to wonder how I got trapped in this gawky, awkward body). My own views on gender roles are... mixed at best. I'm completely gender blind to the point where it's almost silly, but at the same time, I find myself wishing men were a little more manly and girls a little more girly. I think it really depends on the person though. I myself go through phases of masculinity and femininity that shift fairly subtly (that's the fluid part) but it's ya'know, whatevs. Hehe.
What I do think is rather odd/funny/interesting, is I live in a very "red" state, as they call them. Good ole, smack dab in the middle of America, redneck, uber-Christian, Republican Kansas. But, contrarily, I live in Kansas' one and only Democratic county, so while yes, alternative sexuality are no where near gaining equality here, people in my hometown are oddly... unphased by things like who I want to kiss, hold hands with, commit myself to. Sure we've got our wackos (Fred Phelps, anyone? -_-) But for me in particular, people are pretty accepting of me. I've never been called out on it other the usual misunderstand of what exactly a pansexual is (nope, I'm not a slut, and nope, I'm not a self-hating bi. I'm PANSEXUAL.) and generally, people are pretty cool with me. No weird stares. A little awkward eye twitch (yep, eye twitch. kind of a "e_o You're a..? Huh?") when I first mention it maybe but nothing I cant get over with a nervous laugh and a shrug. The weirdest part of this is I go to a private, CATHOLIC school. It's a school of about three hundred and there are at least five other prominent queers at my school, and none of us are bullied or excluded at all by any of our peers (even if some of them might think we shouldn't be allowed to marry- which I don't know if they do or not- honestly I could care less about their opinion of my marriage rights).
It's really something special I think, when you see progression like my school. Sure, it's a strongly faith based community but that doesn't mean their cant be acceptance and friendship between all walks of life. I still hold the belief that my measly little state will probably be the last to pass a legalization on gay marriage (or cannabis, but that's a whole other can of worms haha), but when I get to experience such acceptance in my community, it gives me hope.
I'm actually not "out" to my parents, but to be honest, I don't think I should have to be. I don't feel like I'm hiding anything from them, I simply don't think it's any of their business who I love (does that sound bad?) and I want to avoid the drama it will inevitably cause at least until I'm "out of the house" so to speak (which will only be a couple more months!). Neither of my parents are homophobic, per say. My dad simply would rather not know about it. He just thinks someone's sexuality is none of his business and he doesn't want to worry about. He actually thought I was a lesbian (told to me by my mother who he had told) in my early teen years but I was to confused about my sexuality at that point to breach the subject. On the other hand, my mother is a strict Catholic who believes any alternative sexuality than that of the, uh, hetero persuasion, is a sin. She would never promote hate for the LGBT community, but does think it is wrong and that same-sex marriage is acceptable. She knows I have a strong connection to the LGBT community but because of my past denials of my sexuality, she isn't aware of this part of my life. I wouldn't really mind if either of them knew, I just don't feel like I should have to deal with the awkwardness and tense conversations that would ultimately occur if I were to "come out." So I'm just leaving it up to them to figure out on their own. Honestly, it's not the most well kept secret, anyway. Haha.
