Mental Abuse

It is a completely different issue than physical abuse, because no one can see the scars it leaves behind, and it is hard to prove. Mental abuse is when people say things that abuse you mentally.
What is your thoughts?

It's really sad how easily people dismiss mental abuse.

My mom did it to me my entire life, and last august, my dad divorced her. MY mom has gotten physical; she's grabbed my throat, slapped me in the face, pushed me down, but I could care less about the physical pain, when she's fucking up my life by saying stupid shit to get to my head and manipulate me. that's how she got my dad to marry her. she's so fucking selfish. I'm sorry for such a long thing, but I was sent to Tennessee, where my mother lives to resolve some issues, and all she did was try to start shit, I haven't seen her in a year, and she's so selfish. I'm here for me, and then I'm getting the hell out of here. It's really fucked up how someone can do that to anyone, muchless their own child. she was never emotionally there for me, and I feel like the closest thing that I have to a mother is my grandmother. My mom spent my entire life overdosing on her presciption sleeping and anxiety pills. what's really fucked up though, is that in the divorce my mom got my sister, but she was trying to win her like it's a game. alright, I think I'm done ranting..

I have been emotionally abused, by many people. But one in particular has done it my whole life. Who has gotten a lot better since I was hospitalized, but he still does it after he promised me he would stop. What makes it even worse, is that I'm the only one of his children that he does it to.

I don't know if my mother knows she does it, but she does. She's always calling me a stupid bitch if I get anything wrong, so when I'm nervous about doing something, in front of anyone, I get shaky, and start apologizing and putting myself down just in case I get it wrong. Nothing extra serious, I think she does it because her mum did the same to her.

Jane Doe:

I don't know if my mother knows she does it, but she does. She's always calling me a stupid bitch if I get anything wrong, so when I'm nervous about doing something, in front of anyone, I get shaky, and start apologizing and putting myself down just in case I get it wrong. Nothing extra serious, I think she does it because her mum did the same to her.

Yeah, my mom does something similar. If I cry in front of her, and she wasn't there for the reason why I'm crying, she gets mad at me. Makes me scared to cry in front of people. Because I'm afraid they will get mad at me. My dad does it too, but I don't live with him.

My father does it continuously to me any my mother, especially me now that I have gotten older and he knows how he can really tear me down now. He has literally nearly pushed me over my limits before.
My mother does it too sometimes, and can be very selfish, but usually I just think it's her trying to be constructive in the wrong way by picking on my weight, hair, and trying to embarass me into doing things her way.

Malchick Gay:

Yeah, my mom does something similar. If I cry in front of her, and she wasn't there for the reason why I'm crying, she gets mad at me. Makes me scared to cry in front of people. Because I'm afraid they will get mad at me. My dad does it too, but I don't live with him.

I'm the same way. When I was little and I would cry, my parents would literally make fun of me. My dad used to call me a cry baby. And I mean, I was little. Even now, I absolutely hate crying in front of anyone. It makes me feel so weak and I'm always afraid that people are going to judge me because of it.

And I can't ask my mother for anything. At all. If I do, she almost immediately gets mad or irritated. Hence the reason I no longer have a cell phone. Every month when it would be time to pay the bill, I'd be scared to death to tell my mom. And eventually I just let her shut it off. To me, it's better than asking each month.

Jane Doe:

so when I'm nervous about doing something, in front of anyone, I get shaky, and start apologizing and putting myself down just in case I get it wrong.

Yeah, I do the same thing. I'm so nervous to be in front of larger groups of people, even friends or people I'm really familiar with. Most think it's because I'm shy. But I'm shy because of how my parents and family treated me when I was younger. I was made fun of for everything by just about every family member of mine.

^ She does the crying thing too. But it's usually if she says something that makes me cry (which hardly ever happens, I can usually hold off until she's out the room.), she says that I'm doing it to make her feel bad. Which isn't true. When I was about nine, and was getting really badly bullied (I sat in the toilets at break and lunch it was that bad), was the last time I told her anything important. She told me that she couldn't help me, and to 'Stop crying you snivelling child', and that 'You're old enough to sort it out yourself.' I haven't told her anything really important since then. It's quite odd, because I know that she'd be okay with the fact that I like women and don't really like men (I'm reluctant to say lesbian, because I am only 14.), but she'd probably go mental if she found out that I had a serious self harming problem (which I got out of with a lot of will power and good friends.)

My neighbour is like this. She was abused terribly mentally and physically by her family, was a teen mother, and now she's terrible to her children. She belittles them constantly, and every time someone wants to sit with her and spend time with her, she demands to know why they're not doing something productive where she hardly does anything. She calls her children "clusterfucks" and claims they can't do anything right, and then she wonders why they all have low self-esteem. She embarasses her kids by getting drunk all the time and screaming for absolutely no reason. She gets irritated if someone gets a text message or asks for a drink.

I wouldn't say that I'm emotionally abused; more emotionally neglected. I know my mother loves me. But there's no way in hell she likes me. And I understand that. People don't all like each other, and our personalities just help us get on each others nerves all the time.

I'm sure I make her as crazy as me sometimes, but she really likes my siblings. She treats them with care and respect, and I'm just... there. I can't really talk to her about it because she'd just deny it and storm off to her bedroom.

I'm so neglected at school, and then I get home to that. It's not terrible, and I know other people (such as you guys) have it worse than me. It just really kills me when I get back from being a nobody at school with no friends to my house with my ignorant mother, and teasing siblings.

Seems petty, but it does hurt.

A Change Of Pace.:

I'm the same way. When I was little and I would cry, my parents would literally make fun of me. My dad used to call me a cry baby. And I mean, I was little. Even now, I absolutely hate crying in front of anyone. It makes me feel so weak and I'm always afraid that people are going to judge me because of it.

And I can't ask my mother for anything. At all. If I do, she almost immediately gets mad or irritated. Hence the reason I no longer have a cell phone. Every month when it would be time to pay the bill, I'd be scared to death to tell my mom. And eventually I just let her shut it off. To me, it's better than asking each month.

It's strange, because my mom didn't do that before. The last time I recall crying in front of her was in 7th grade, when I was terrified for my friend. She held me in her arms as I cried. She was an alcoholic then, and I don't think she remembers.

I understand that too. I am terrified to ask my dad for stuff. He says for us to call him whenever we need him, but he always gets mad at me... Always. Not my sisters, just me.

Jane Doe:

I don't know if my mother knows she does it, but she does. She's always calling me a stupid bitch if I get anything wrong, so when I'm nervous about doing something, in front of anyone, I get shaky, and start apologizing and putting myself down just in case I get it wrong. Nothing extra serious, I think she does it because her mum did the same to her.

I understand what you mean. I've never been emotionally abused by my parents but I did a little by my peers. Sometimes I would feel insecure about doing or saying things but now I don't because it's not as bad and I dismiss a lot of shit people say to me now. Especially when people talked about my birth mark which is huge and about two shades lighter than I am. People joke and said I was half white half black, they'd call me recess cup, birtha, oreo cookie, two toned, the whole nine. I can't say I was ever insecure about it because there were a lot of times when I forgot I even have it but I don't get picked on about it anymore.
But really I believe the worse emotional abuse comes from people that are "supposed" to love you or really do. Emotional abuse can alter the way someone thinks and what they say to people. I know that's true about me because sometimes I can be really mean to people and call them offensive names because it has happened to me.
Now, I've grown a twelve foot thick skin for mean words. I've been attacked by mean words more than physically and I believe emotional abuse is worse than physical (unless you're dealing with someone much stronger than you)... okay, now I'm kind of ranting

I was severely mentally abused by my family. All of them at some point or another, at varying levels. It all boils down to the same thing - WRONG.

I developed an eating disorder several years ago after becoming obsessed with my weight due to the constant criticism and comments over the fact that my sister was almost sickeningly underweight after previously being overweight, causing her to weigh less than me for the first time ever. The eating (rather, lack thereof) is under control now, but I don't think I'll ever be able to feel good about myself again. I feel like such a cow.

It was more than just that. It was being told no one would want me, it was being told I was worthless, a waste of time, and a mistake/accident. It was being told I'd never amount to anything or do anything with myself.

I felt trapped. I felt neglected, but at the same time, smothered with their twisted and warped ideals. No such thing as freedom. Not even as an adult. I was told that I needed to get a job, but if I ever tried to go out by myself, I was never permitted to, despite my age.

I attempted suicide several times. And then I finally left.

It's affected all aspects of my life. I continue to struggle with the aftermath today, in my quest to be something of a "normal" human being. I have a great motivator, I have a job, and I have things to look forward to now.

It doesn't fix hurt though. And I shouldn't have had to abandon family to achieve this.

I wouldn't even admit to myself that I was being mentally/emotionally/verbally abused by my parents until a counselor said it to me. I always thought, whenever I thought of using such a phrase, I was being too melodramatic about it.

"So what if my parents tell me they hate me, and my mom says she wishes she never had me? So what if my parents call me every bad name in the book, repeatedly. And they accuse me of things without right to. And they tell lies to each other and to me and to everyone else to put me in the bad light. Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm selfish and stupid and fat and inconsiderate and everything they say is right and I should just go die."

That kind of thing. Cause it wasn't as if they hit me a lot anymore, and when they did hit me it wasn't all that frequent. And I'd know in the back of my head that my mom wasn't right, because whenever she argues she throws out reason and says things to hurt me and justify her own actions.

And no one ever believed me until my parents would break down and blow up in front of them. My parents are very personable and lovely in front of company, so everyone thought I was exaggerating. It wasn't until one day my dad blew up at me and threatened me, and I think he grabbed my arm, that my friends finally realized what was going on.

It's hard to get someone to believe when all they see is the good side of the abuser. And it hurts so so much. And because I'm not one to cry, all people see is either an emotionless, stubborn face or someone who's happy.

Mental abuse is just horrible.

I was mentally and emotionally abused by my step mum. As I was growing up, she force fed me to a point that I'd puke and then call me fat and ugly afterwards. She'd get mad at me and get my dad to yell at me whenever I'd forget to say my manners to her (I wouldn't say them purposely because I'd only say them to people I respected). She ruined the idea of my dad for me by getting him to do that because he used to be one of the most important role models in my life.

I've watched her hit her kids and I really regret not saying anything to help them. It's her fault that I now have zero confidence in anything I do and have a serious eating disorder.

My parents don't mentally abuse me at all- and I'm glad.
But they do mentally and emotionally neglect me. Unintentionally, but that just seems to make it worse.

I love my family very much but I do get mentally abused a lot, sometimes physically. I think its because my parents had terrible childhoods and I know they try their best so I deal with it.
Its hard when other people find out because they dont understand, my boyfriends constantly on me about how I forgive them so easily.

Ive grown strong and it doesnt effect me as much anymore but I worry about my brother a lot, hes very emotional and cant take a lot before breaking down. I dont want him, or me, to end up like them.

I know my parents love us, but I think they need to grow up and control themselves.

NobodyThatMatters_13:

My parents don't mentally abuse me at all- and I'm glad.
But they do mentally and emotionally neglect me. Unintentionally, but that just seems to make it worse.

Neglect is a subcategory of abuse.

It's my dad. He power trips. He has to have complete control over everyone. He used to hit me, but he stopped when he figured out I carry my phone everywhere and I'm not too scared to call the cops on his ass. Recently, I started to stand up to him when he does things. He likes to talk shit about my brother, call him names like "lazy, fat, free-loading bum" (he's going to night school and searching for a day job, that's lazy? Free-loading?). Every time he does, I ask him politely to stop. It ends up turning into an argument where he calls me a b*tch, a c*nt, a stupid wh*re. I always win now because I am not afraid anymore. He backs down and avoids me for a while. It's given me a standing in my family that I never dreamed of.

My little brother has two mommies in the sense that he feels like I am a mom also. He replaces the lack of paternity with a second maternity, and I take the most care of him. My dad is merely a playmate on his good days to Michael. My dad used to hit him too, still does on occasion. They'll play and Michael will get rough and he'll get mad. Head hits are most frequent. He's starting to stop that though because I always hold Michael in my arms to keep him safe and he knows he can't do anything to me. He's also figured out that I've started to collect evidence against him. See why Michael thinks of me as a second mommy?

Due to certain things about my dad, my mom doesn't do much except argue with him. She's certain that he's not against having her killed. I'm sure he'd never do that, but whatever.

We are getting rid of him soon. Thank goodness.

Well, a bit different.
But it's my sister.
Every single day, whether it's just a puny little remark or what-not, she always finds some sort of way to put me down.
I was neglected a bunch in elem. school, she always tells me reasons why everyone hated me, which helped the cause of making me feel like I was worthless. She's sent me into my room with a bunch of tears millions of times, telling me that no one cares about me, yelling it directly at me while I'm walking away. The sad part is, my parents hear every word and don't do anything about it.

Once, I've tried fighting back by not reacting to her words, but resorted to some physical violence. As in pushing me off a chair and whacking me with her bookbag filled with textbooks hard enough to break skin.

It may not sound so bad compared to everyone else's own personal stories.
But it hurts and it still does, always will.