Layout - I guess the guy is cute for a white guy. I don't know, I'm not that attracted to white guys. But I do like how you give the picture a hazy look which goes perfect with the pictures background. His shirt also so happens to match the picture background also. It all matches. But I don't understand the tic-tac-toe game on the picture.
Summary - I usually don't like love stories, but I know a good one when I read it. The summary you used is a little cliche to me (I'm a tough critic) But I do like the way you made it look with the, indents or whatever you did. It's nice.
Chapter 1 - Although you're breaking the damn rules (sorry, in a cussing mood, not being aggressive) with the capitalization, it looks cool as hell. Just, Eff the rules on that one. It's just good you didn't do it to the title because Admin are strict as hell on here (I'm on their most hated list
I'm messing).
"The first time I’d ever laid eyes on Logan Mitchell was in the lobby of the Palm Woods, the third day after I moved into the temporary residence for Hollywood’s future rich and famous."
This like is a little flat also. The laid eyes part is a bad opening for me. Perhaps you could think of a better line. And I think the "I'd" kills the natural flow on the sentence. No, I think it's the "ever" that's messing it up. Yeah, you should get rid of it. But if you keep the ever, you should get rid of the 'd. Then it's perfect.
"I guess you could say I was an aspiring actress, even though I didn’t exactly wear that title with pride. Though the weather and the people were beautiful in California, it just wasn’t where I wanted to be. I had been perfectly happy with my slower paced, somewhat normal life in South Carolina, but my mom had this vision of me being on the big screen, so she practically uprooted our family and shipped us out to California in hopes of making me this big star."
Right here it sounds like you're playing old Ayana. I don't want to feel like I'm reading the protagonist's life story all at once. I think the story flows better when it's put one piece at a time. You know, learning something new. But that all depends on the reader and that could just be me.
"The other teenagers at the apartment complex seemed friendly and nice enough, but there was just something in their eyes and their plastered-on smiles that made me second-guess how genuine they truly were."
At night I can be a little critical and imaginary, and I'm not as nice, so I'm going to say that I do like how you captured the ways or many actors and girls that live their life as if it could actually be perfect. Good job.... although I don't think genuine is used right in this sentence. Try looking it up first and see what it means. You might change your mind on using it.
"I’d been sitting in the lobby, casually flipping through a fashion magazine and lusting over clothes I’d never be able to afford while I secretly scoped out my new neighbors. The girls were all incredibly gorgeous. Actually, they were super-model gorgeous, which made sense since they were more than likely aspiring models. I absentmindedly ran a hand through my own chestnut waves as I watched them. With my unmanageable hair and fair skin, I just couldn’t compete."
I think the story should have opened out with this (after seeing that guys who's name I've already forgotten [haha, it's Logan] for the first time part, of course) instead, then begin to slowly bring in where she is and lived.
"My gaze shifted towards the decorative shrubbery near the reception desk, and I happened to spot three faces emerge from the faux plant. "
Yikes, for a love story, I believe the words chop it up and make it come off as a serious story line. And faux is a French word. I suck with my French, but I know what faux pas means, but you through me for a loop when you just put faux. Most people might not know what the hell you're talking about, so you could have used another word that relates to fake or imitated. And you could work on the flow of this sentence.
"From what little I knew of him, Kendall seemed to be really easygoing and honest, maybe even attractive if I squinted enough. The way he carried himself was what intrigued me the most, it was as if Hollywood hadn’t made its way under his skin yet. He was still real. But Kendall also had an air of self-righteousness in his stare that bothered me.
James was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. With a hot body, dazzling smile, and tousled chestnut surfer locks, he was the type of attractive that no girl could deny, but of course, James knew he looked good. And though that type of confidence turned me on, it came along with narcissism. I’d also heard from some of the other girls that he was a bit of a player, so I wasn’t going to go there with him."
...Hm, my black girl senses are tingling. Any way, that's besides the point. You at least showed some realistic aspects in this part. Not everyone is attractive, even in Hollywood and I loath people who make it that way.
"I pretended not to notice as the three reemerged from the bush, glanced back towards me, and began whispering back and forth to one another. It was probably the sketchiest thing I’d ever seen in my seventeen years of life."
God, congrats to you. You put her age in there without going "hi, I'm blah blah and I'm seventeen years old" (although you kind of did that in the beginning, but you can fix that). Damn, I'm reminding myself of the old Ayana.
"Kendall was the first to show himself, a sheepish grin adorning his sharp features as locks of golden blonde hair fell into his green eyes."
Too much description and adjectives. Keep the description you like and take out the stuff that doesn't seem that necessary.
"“Hey Kandi, how are you doing today? Liking the Palm Woods so far?”"
The you should have italics ( [
] []) not in bold.
"“I do!” James declared as he arose in a flurry of bronzed skin and shaggy chestnut hair."
Eh, I think their descriptions are coming too fast. I like to have my readers to guess what the characters look like slowly express how they look later on because really, I want people to image who they want to imagine. But that can be an opinion also.
Yes, you're coming a little too fast with the descriptions. I think it's starting to cloud the story a little because I'm no long thinking about the plot, but developing what everyone looks like in my head.
Damn, that was fast. They're already going out. Could you have brought that in a little slower?
Overall - The plot seems a little too predictable, and you describe things a little too much, but I do like your descriptions. The first chapter was a little slow, but it's okay. As long as the whole thing isn't like that, it can work.
Only chapter of
Stripped Naked 
It was everything a summary should be, and I got just enough of a grasp on the story without having the entire plot spoiled for me. I also really really REALLY loved the metaphor of the sun and the rain that you chose to close the summary with, it was really beautiful.
The song is freaking amazing lyrically, I love it.
