If You Really Knew Me

If you really knew me, you'd know that I am not a very touchy-feely person, that it takes years for people to gain my trust, that I'm too scared of getting hurt, and that I hide all that through being silly.

If you really knew me, you'd know that my family and I lost my house this past month and that the IRS keeps mailing us about how we owe so much money.

If you really knew me, you'd know that my father suffered from alcoholism for years till he almost died two years ago. Now he needs to get a liver transplant or he runs the risk of dying till he gets it.

If you really knew me, you'd know that my father emotionally abused me and I still have the scars to prove it.

If you really knew me, you'd know how horribly depressed I am, even though I do so well at hiding it.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I have virtually no contact with my Dad's side of the family with the sole exception being my uncle and two cousins.

if you really knew me, you'd know my parents are getting divorced and that i'm terribly afraid i won't get to see my dad and grandma as often as i'd like.

If you really knew me, you'd know that my grandfather was a child molester and hurt someone very, very close to me.

If you really knew me you'd know that I would do anything to leave here, but can't because I'm not leaving like my mom left us.

If you really knew me, you'd know that alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicide run in my family prevalently on both sides.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I have Trichotillomania, and sometimes it gets out of control.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I hate being touched.

If you really knew me, you'd know that Avenged Sevenfold really did save and change my life and that I don't just use that expression lightly.

Dancing Dead.:

If you really knew me, you'd know that Avenged Sevenfold really did save and change my life and that I don't just use that expression lightly.

That.
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If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm one of the most loneliest people to walk this earth.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm ridiculously afraid of moving to Berkeley next year.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm lonely and I prefer one on one conversations to bury the loneliness. DDDD':

If you really knew me, you'd know that I've had an eating disorder since I was 10.

If you really knew me, you wouldn't know I was gay.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm afraid of turning into my mother.

IYRKM, you'd know I don't know how to handle compliments because I never expect them, I hate almost all of my physical appearance, I'm bi-sexual, I cut, I write to escape and I put on a happy exterior.